Zimbabwe is a small country in Southern Africa (no, it is not South Africa). As a country, we pride ourselves with the beautiful nature and wild animals. Yes, you can actually walk over to a bush and see a lion! We are not primitive as many would imagine. We do have internet and we wear “normal clothes”. However, growing up in Zimbabwe is quite different from growing up in more developed countries. I believe most Zimbabweans and even some Africans can relate to the following 20 signs you grew up In Zimbabwe Africa!
Zimbabweans are renowned for their odd use of “hey” at the end of sentences as if we need approval or affirmation about everything that passes through our lips. For instance, “I need to eat hey”. I should stop saying “hey” at the end of every sentence hey.
FALSE! Your parents want to make you believe that they never had any grade other than an A in all subjects from primary school all the way to college. They tell you this because anything other than an a hundred percent from you is simply unacceptable.
Me: “Dad, I got a 98% in my Chemistry examination!”
Dad: “What happened to the other 2%?”
Zimbabwean parents use the “spare the rod, spoil the child” technique of disciplining their children. When you were getting a hiding, you would NEVER cry too early into the hiding because they would think you were faking and this would score more hidings. However, you would not cry too late into the beating because your parents would think that you were a “tough guy”. This would also land you with more hidings.
Life in a typical Zimbabwean family was tough! Each day without getting a hiding from your parents was a blessing. Not that parents enjoy beating their children, but because they have high expectations from their children. Therefore meeting these expectations is nearly impossible.
Mum: “You look quite sad my child. What is wrong?”
Me: “Well, nothing mum. I am fine.”
Mum: “Oh, are you trying to say I am seeing things hey? Fetch my belt so that I can give you a real reason to be sad about!”
These four places are the most popular tourist attractions in Zimbabwe. Every person from Zimbabwe has either been to all four places or at least one of them. If not, they make sure that when they get their first paycheque, they do.
One definite thing Zimbabwean parents teach their children is to respect elders. Any person older than you (even two years older) should not be called by their first name as this is basically a crime against humanity.
These are all “staple snacks” in Zimbabwe. It is mandatory to eat these tantalizing snacks for you to be called a true Zimbabwean!
Growing up, each Zimbabwean child is given a name to be called around the house. The name is usually a shortcut of the full name. For instance, my name is Audrey, but my parents used to call me Audy. So, whenever your parents called for you with your full name, just know that you were in huge trouble which was equal to a fine hiding.
It does not matter if you learned that the sky is blue. If your parents say the sky is purple, then the sky is in fact, purple. At least in their presence. You must not BY ALL MEANS try to disagree.
This is very annoying! You could be called from literally anywhere, even the other side of the world to pass a phone that is ringing ten centimeters away from them.
Zimbabwean parents will only believe that you were studying during examinations if you lose some weight. If by any chance you gain weight or maintained the same weight, they knew you were not studying. So to avoid WORLD WAR THREE, you would find means to LOSE that weight.
You have opened your refrigerator on a hot sunny day and there it was! An attractive ice cream container staring back at you. You opened it with sheer excitement only to find leftover meat in it.
Believe it or not, Zimbabwean parents give their children awkward names. It`s a pity that the children have to carry the burden of having a weird name.
Until someone explains to us where the name Santa Claus came from, he does not exist. Sorry!
Strange as it may seem, a bus called Tombs is very safe and reliable as opposed to its name.
Due to economic hardships, quite a number of Zimbabweans migrated or are migrating to South Africa to look for better living standards. Since it is closer, its seems as if everybody is going there now.
Winter in Zimbabwe is not quite cold and so it is difficult to adjust to cold weather. It is extremely painful to experience a winter where snow is involved.
The roads in Zimbabwe are pothole infested. Navigating potholes has become a necessary skill to survive on our roads.
Featured Image: weheartit
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