7 Reasons Why 13 Years Of Private All Girls School Left Me Clueless For College

Here are the social challenges of attending a private all girls school. Beyond academics, the educational experience also develops interpersonal skills.

I’ve been going to a private all girls school since I was 5 years old, and at that age I didn’t see a problem with it and didn’t think it was unusual at all. I had some friends at school, in my neighborhood, at camp, and at church. When I was around 7 or 8, I started to realize that most people went to coed schools, and I didn’t know anyone else who went to an all girls school. When people asked me what kind of school I went to and I explained what it is, I always got the same reactions:

“Ohhh, so you don’t like boys.”

“That’s so weird, your parents must not love you.”

“What’s the point?”

“Wow I’m so sorry for you.”

“You know that will make you gay, right?”

And more.

My parents said it was because they wanted me to be as focused as possible and not have any distractions, and that’s the exact same reason most parents put their children into single sex schools. Unfortunately, 13 years in all girls schools has really taken a toll on me socially. So, here are 5 reasons why going to a private all girls school for 13 years has left me clueless.

1. I don’t know how to socialize with boys.

I’ve never really had a need or a reason to, from kindergarten through 8th grade. I had a small group of friends inside and outside of school, and they were all girls. I made some friends at camp, but whenever someone would introduce me to any boy, ever, I would immediately freak out, which brings me to my second reason.

2. I’ve never been able to differentiate platonic and romantic feelings towards boys.

Every single boy I knew up until sophomore year in high school, I had a crush on at one point. It doesn’t matter how long the crush was, I still had a crush on them. It was pathetic, embarrassing and I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I only saw the boys in a room and took setting, because in middle school that’s what was really forced on me. I wanted to have guy friends, but I didn’t know how to hold conversations with them, be around them, or be their friend because I never had that experience.

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3. I never knew how to act in coed settings.

I’ve never known how to be around the boys, plain and simple. Whenever I would hang out with them, my initial reaction would be “Is he cute enough? Would I want to date him? Could I see myself with him?”. And it wasn’t like I thought every single boy was cute, but I was constantly worried what they thought about me, or if they thought I was cute—which isn’t out of the ordinary for a teenage girl, especially in my school.

4. I only had friends that were girls.

For the most part now, I still only have friends that are girls. I have 5 guy friends now, I met them all in high school, and yes, at some point, I thought I had a crush on them because I wasn’t able to tell the difference between romantic and platonic feelings.

5. I don’t know how to be in academic setting with guys.

I’ve never had to pay attention and learn in the same room with guys before, and from what I’ve heard, it’s not hard. But that’s also coming from people that have been in coed schools their whole life. I’ve never been in any sort of academic or classroom setting with guys where we had to learn, hand in assignments, take tests, the whole bit. As I got older, I realized that I might’ve been stressing about it too much, but I don’t know what to expect. I don’t know anyone that’s gone through the same thing I’ve had to, not that it’s a problem, it’s just really annoying not having many people to relate to.

There’s nothing wrong with single sex schools like a private all girls school, but it’s extremely important that kids get to be in coed environments their whole lives. Kids need a lot of social interaction, and it’s not fair to them if they don’t have the same opportunities other kids do. By keeping them in single sex environments, they automatically have a disadvantage.