Being single in the pandemic is maybe not ideal, but in a lot of ways I’m here for it. I have tried and subsequently hated dating online, and without organic ways to meet people because of the pandemic, I’ve decided to just stay single for now. It may seem like a strange choice, with all of the online options out there. But trust me, I’m better off just loving myself right now and working on making my life as good as possible.
How many times have you downloaded and then deleted Hinge or Bumble or Tinder? For me, three times. Each time I went into it again was for a different reason, the last one being that I was bored. I had just been reveling in how many projects I had going on, but that I thought it might be fun to try dating. Turns out it just distracted me from all the great things I had going. Then the number of coronavirus cases got worse and I didn’t feel comfortable meeting new people, thus the decision to stay single in the pandemic.
The pandemic anxiety is real. Like many others, I have been limiting who I see and interact with since this pandemic began. Especially once cold weather arrived, I have really only seen my immediate family. If I meet a friend, it is always outside and masked. The thought of meeting someone new and then subsequently increasing my bubble to him and everyone he sees is slightly anxiety-inducing, if I’m being honest.
Another reason I don’t want to add anyone to my bubble. I left a job in the spring because I was so afraid of bringing the virus home to my parents. It just wasn’t worth the risk. Not to mention that dating someone might be difficult when you live with your parents! I wouldn’t let it stop me in normal times, but when there’s a raging pandemic it’s obviously going to effect my decisions. I can make the sacrifice to stay single in the pandemic for their healthy and safety as well as my own.
I’m a big believer in fate, or meeting someone when the timing is right for me. With dating apps, I feel like I’m forcing my hand with this and I honestly never know the answer to the question, am I ready to date? Which is why I’ve just decided that for now I’m going to stay single in the pandemic. I really, really love meeting people in person. There’s always a story behind the meeting, and so much more depth than you could find on an app. I know a lot of people are meeting on apps these days, and I’m happy for them. I just know that it’s not for me and my old soul. I’ll stick to the meet-cutes, when I can get them (and yes, I’ve had some good ones already).
I think one thing that’s really inhibited my ability and my desire to date here, in the place where I’m quarantined, is that I don’t envision myself staying here. I have moved away before and am really only here now because of the pandemic, so once it’s safe and I’m able I will most likely be off again. So it’s hard to put your heart into it when a lot of the guys on these dating apps are looking to settle down in this city.
Speaking of settling down, I’m a wild card. Just the words “settling down” cause an internal rebellion in me. So yeah, I don’t think now is even the right time to be dating for me. There are so many things I want to do still! So many places to go and people to meet. I know that some of this might not change if I had a boyfriend, but inevitably it could. Right now my life is just my life, no one to share it with. This can either sound sad and depressing or wild and exciting. I’ll take wild and exciting!
On that note, I also really hate being told what to do. So when society screams at me that I should be dating someone, I should be saving to buy a house, I should be thinking about when I get married, I run the other way. Or I turn around and scream back at it that I’m only 24! I have so much time! Society likes to make us think that we should have everything figured out practically by the time we’ve graduated college, when that’s really not the case realistically. We have our whole lives to become who we want, and to add people in.
If you’ve made it this far, you can tell I don’t like being told what to do! Which is another reason I’m staying single in the pandemic. I want to live on my own timeline, and if that means that meeting guys is on pause, just like the rest of the world is on pause right now, then so be it. Eventually we will get back to a new normal and I’ll meet people again, on my own time.
This mandated pause that most of the world is being granted right now is really an invitation for me to get to know myself better. I’ve been able to pursue some of my interests and passion with vigor, using time that I never would have gotten had we not had this pandemic (no one wants this pandemic, but we have to look for the positives because it’s happening). This time at home has really allowed me to think about what I want my future life to look like. Where I want to live, what I want to be doing, and who I want to be surrounded by. I don’t need the distraction of dating at this moment.
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