We all know that right before mid-terms everyone on your floor started questioning whether or not their school was the right choice or even if college was for them, period. You probably heard students mention the possibility of wanting to travel the world, or dropping out to work full time, or maybe they thought it was time to take a spacer year. This was probably the result of a large increase in stress and not being able to handle it all at once. So naturally, like in every situation when times get tough, it is just easier to walk away. I was one of these people.
I told my roommate that it was time for me to start looking for new colleges and start writing new application essays. I also contacted the group that I was planning on getting an apartment with and told them that I may be dropping out because I wasn’t even sure if I would be living in the same town. After panic started to build, I took a moment, followed these steps, and realized that I should stick it out. Here are 5 things to do if you think your school isn’t for you.
When I first started having doubts, I talked to those around me and asked them what I should do. Obviously, many of them said, “I will support whatever you decide.” This isn’t what I wanted to hear. I wanted them to tell me exactly what to do. However, this isn’t how becoming an adult works. I had to ask specific questions to get the conversation going and then ask clarification questions so I could better understand exactly what their recommendations meant. Truly, I believe that your family is hands-down the most devoted and invested with your success academically. These are the people you need to begin with. Whether it is someone as close as your mom, maybe your uncle or a cousin that currently loves college. They are the ones that will give you the most honest advice and a new perspective on the situation that you are going through.
It is so much easier to attack any conflict by taking the perspective from the outside looking in. Don’t just stress over the current situation. Look at the entire time you’ve been at your current school. Overall, have you had more good times than bad? Have you met some incredible people? Do you think you’ve been successful in any way? These are all questions to ask yourself from an outsider’s perspective. Although you are making a personal decision, it is important to take out the emotions and personal opinion to ensure you can conclude what is best. When I did this, I came to the realization that my school wasn’t as bad as I was making it out to be. Yes I was probably being a little bit dramatic (but who isn’t) when explaining that I wanted to transfer to my parents, but from my perspective I was in a horrible situation. However, when taking an outsider approach I saw that things weren’t necessarily as bad as I originally thought.
Are you feeling like you forgot why you chose your school? Maybe you are thinking that one reason you don’t like your school is because it doesn’t have the school spirit or events like your high school BFF’s college has, don’t worry. You probably just haven’t been to the right event yet. Make sure you branch out and go to a school event that is full of traditions. For me personally, I was sensing like I wasn’t a part of the “in-crowd,” and I didn’t actually feel like a student on campus. This changed, however, when I attended my first basketball game. Being in the field house with close to 4,000 students wearing the school colors, ripping newspaper, and swaying together, while singing the Alma Mater, made me realize that I was home. Every school is full of rich traditions that unite the student body…you just have to find them and embrace them fully without hesitation.
It is not a good idea to rush the process. If the inkling of transferring or dropping out starts running through your mind, it is best not to make a rash decision. This could lead to regret or the possibility of getting lost in the process. Take your time and think about all of the pros and cons. By taking your time, I don’t mean take all the time in the world. Set a mini-timeline for yourself. Make sure that you will stay on track and have a final date set for when you will decide what the next step in your academic life is. This was beneficial in my case because I am a huge over-thinker and so by taking my time I could divide all of my thoughts and better understand what I truly wanted.
Now that you have had some time to think about it and hopefully have reflected on all of your possible options, I hope you can make a justified decision. Most importantly, keep your own well being in mind. Don’t let the pressure of your family and friends effect your decision whether they really want you to transfer or really want you to stay. Yes, their input is very important but it is more important that you are happy with where you are. After all, it is where you will be living and temporarily creating your new home. For me, I know that for the time being I need to remain put and carry out my education where I am now. However, I have no idea what the future may bring.
I hope you do what is right for you and I wish you the best of luck! xoxo
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