If you don’t get a bid from a sorority, it can be discouraging. Of course, we understand. It happens, even though it makes us sad. And hey, sometimes things happen for a reason! If you don’t get a bid to your top sorority, we have all of the tips and methods to keep you from getting discouraged.
The first key piece of advice is to stay busy and keep from getting distracted. Even though it’s easy to get bogged down with news you don’t want to hear, keep yourself busy and motivated. Hit the library with some friends, go grab some food on campus, get ahead and complete all of your schoolwork, but most importantly: keep going. It’s a minor set back, and we all have them. Even though your feeling sad, the feeling will fade and keep in mind all of the people around you who are there for support. If you don’t get a bid, it doesn’t mean you aren’t loved or welcomed. Surround yourself with positive people!
In a similar sense, a good way to react is to try not to feel resentment, it just wasn’t meant to be. Certain cliques of girls sometimes just clash with others, and that’s okay. Sorority bids are based on a number of different variables, so don’t take it personally. These things happen! Use this minor setback as fuel, don’t let it define you. Someone once said to me, “it’s Greek life, not your whole life.” And this statement is really true, although the four years you’re in college seems like an eternity, there is life beyond college. If you don’t get a bid, try to keep your head up and stay focused.
Just because you didn’t get a bid to your first choice, doesn’t mean that all of the other greek life organizations are out of the question! For me, I rushed more than one as well. It is surprisingly common to not get a bid even to your top sorority, so don’t pay much mind to it. Another organization will offer you a bid, so keep going!
Chances are, the people in that sorority who didn’t offer you a bid, are doing you a favor. Use this experience as an opportunity to get closer with your friends, meet new ones, and connect with your roommates. College is four years of wild, and you never know what is around the corner. Try and expect the unexpected, while remaining calm and enjoying the day to day experience – your only in college once! The bottom line, know who your true friends are, and don’t sweat the ones who aren’t. Unfortunately, this is one of the more painful lessons in life. Everyone has had that moment when you sadly realize that someone isn’t who they say they are, or someone isn’t as nice as they seem. Not a fun part of life, and don’t let it define you.
It’s hard not to overthink, I get it. If I could win an award for overthinking, I would have. Regardless, you will be doing yourself a favor by taking the personal aspect out of it. It’s nothing you did wrong, and it’s nothing to do with you. That’s on them. Keep your head up! In addition, you may find that this downtime helps you find yourself, or work on something internal. Whatever the case may be, some self-care couldn’t hurt.
If greek life isn’t for you, that’s ok! And I don’t mean it can never be for you, I just mean maybe it isn’t for you this semester, and you can try again next term. In the meantime, I would strongly suggest taking up a hobby, branching out, or doing things that you truly enjoy. For me, during the fall semesters, I would always run around the perimeter of my college campus, and during the month of September, it was perfect, because of the heat. Zoned out, music blasting, you see so many people but are focused on the route you’re going as well. Depending on where you live in the country, try going for a run! This form of exercise is often known to ‘trick’ the brain into thinking your happy, by increasing serotonin levels. Also known as ‘runners high’.
I know, this isn’t the most exciting, but it’s why we attend college. And truthfully, I have found that this works! By focusing on schoolwork, you’ll occupy your brain and focus on something other than the rejection, and the good grades will be a self-esteem boost. Yay! If you don’t get a bid, try focusing your energy on school. I know that when something upsets us, it’s the last thing we want to do, but it can’t hurt! Another way to make this easier is by developing a new routine, for instance, twice a week going to the library alone for an hour, just to get some work done and vedge out. Or, once or twice a week going with a friend after class, or making one night a week a study night.
Unfortunately, rejection is a part of life. Even though nobody likes feeling unwanted or rejected, it’s an uncomfortable aspect that we all get through (somehow) and it makes us stronger in the end. By focusing on ways to better yourself, the actions of the other person will seem less hurtful. Besides, whether the form of rejection we experience is from a loved one, a job, or a breakup, everyone experiences it at some point, and there’s no hiding from it. If you don’t get a bid, try not to see it as something you have done wrong. Sometimes things just happen, and it’s for the best!
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