“What are you- oh… never mind,” says your friend that happens to be in a relationship. You know what they were going to ask. It’s January. That means one month from now and it will be February. That means it will be the month of love, lust, and lingering kisses… or not. For some of us, it will be just another day. But why is that? It’s not because you’re single. It’s because you chose to not celebrate. This national holiday did not exclude you; you excluded yourself and that’s the torment of it all, isn’t it?
The tragedy is not that you’re single nor that you feel Cupid has janky arrows, the sorrow lays within the delusional thought that Valentine’s day is forbidden for us singles to enjoy. If anything, it’s a day begging for us to acknowledge how in love we are with ourselves.
It’s funny, we idolize having a partner. We pray for someone who understands us. We think about the kind of person we would want our partner to be. And most of all, we wonder. We wonder “why didn’t he/she call?”, “do they think I’m ___ enough?”, “am I ___ enough?”, “if I hadn’t slept with them on the first date would they still be interested?”, “How does ___ have someone and I don’t?”. This continues until we get to the biggest question of them all, “will I be single forever?”. Usually, this is where the questions come to an end. The question evaporates as volatile violins metaphorically drown out the question you’ve come to know well but never answered. So… answer it. What if you are? What if you never find someone? What if you never find Mr./Ms. Right? What if you are single forever?
Well? Are you going to live your life wishing you had someone, assuming the worst in Cupid, cursing couples, and avoiding Valentine’s Day? To do such a thing would be to cuff yourself to an eternal error that only you and you alone made for yourself. Instead, cuff yourself to the one person that actually can make you happy. The soul that knows you better than anyone. The one that has been there through all of your ups and downs. Cuff yourself to yourself. Live your life wishing that all loved themselves as much as you love yourself, assuming Cupid is on a sabbatical thanks to divorce rates soaring higher than his arrows, celebrating couples, and lastly, pursuing Valentine’s Day.
Veto the idea of settling for Mr./Ms. Wrong. If you must, indulge in Mr./Ms. Right Now on occasion but never occasionally forget that you are Mr./Ms. Forever. Allow yourself to celebrate that reality always, forever, and especially on February 14th with these 5 ideas to celebrate Valentines day being single.
Get some friends together or host a virtual(singles only or not) dinner party where the theme is prolific fellow singletons. Have fun with it and have your guests dress up! Then go around the table sharing the story of the person you dressed up as and the reason why you chose to dress up as that person. Some costume ideas for women are Coco Chanel, Queen Elizabeth I, Mary Cassatt, Jane Austen, Lady Gaga, Jennifer Aniston, and Cher. Some costume ideas for men are Leonardo da Vinci, Nikola Tesla, Alvin Ailey, Isaac Newton, Henry David Thoreau, Wilt Chamberlain, and Ludwig Vhan Beethoven.
Get with some friends and play a Valentine’s version of white elephant! The game White Elephant is very easy to do virtually t00 so don’t let distance stop you. The rules are simple:
1. Each attendee brings an anonymous gift, or in this case a valentine.
2. Everyone draws numbers to determine the order of who will pick their Valentine gift first, second, and so on.
3. The person who drew #1 selects a valentine’s gift from the pile, opens it, and holds it up for all to see.
4. The person who drew #2 decides whether to steal that gift or unwrap a mystery present from the pile.
5. The game continues in this way, with each person getting the chance to steal someone’s Valentine gift or unwrap their own Valentine surprise.
6. When all the Valentine gifts have been unveiled, the person who drew #1 gets one last turn. If they decide not to steal a gift, keeping the valentine’s gift they have, the game is over. If they do steal a gift, the game continues until someone decides to keep their gift, rather than steal.
Instead of taking yourself on a date (though that is completely supported and a boss move) take that money you would have spent on dinner and spend it on a new outfit. Loads of stores have sales on Valentine’s day so take advantage of Valentine’s day and shop till your hearts complete.
The idea is to set your friend up with someone you’ve matched with from one of your online dating apps (Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Grindr, The League, etc.). Just hook up your phone to a TV and broadcast your Tinder (or whichever) page to the whole room. Take turns swiping on each of the dating profiles. Try to match one of your guests to one of your matches. Go around the room until everyone has a match that is someone else’s. Obviously, if you or your friends are territorial or easily jealous then this game might not be for yall. If you all arent, however, then show the room your match’s profile, decide who you think they’d connect with best based on their profile, and start playing the modern-day matchmaker your single friend never know they needed. You can start the conversation off with “Hey, I know this might sound weird but I have this friend that I think you’d really hit it off with… her/his name is ____. Let me know if you’re interested!” or whatever way you see fit. It isn’t guaranteed that everyone will leave with a mutual match but it is guaranteed that everyone will have a good time.
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