Okay, so you slept with the guy you have been crushing on on the first date. Now what? First off don’t panic it isn’t the end of the world. The chemistry between you was so hot both of you took it to the next level. This is completely normal. Mom isn’t always right when it comes to her love advice. Now comes the part of what to do after having sex on the first date. But seriously, having sex on the first date is not the worst thing you could ever do.
If you are still in bed with him (at his place), get up and get your things and go. This is a must to make sure he does not think you are planning out the rest of his life. A man will run so fast if he feels this right away. Don’t run out the door like you are scared for your life. But depending on if it is still the same night or the next morning will determine how fast you leave. If it is the same night and he has gotten out of bed and gotten dressed, slowly get yourself together and head to the door. And if he is a gentleman he will walk you out, but don’t always count on this.
If it is the next morning you will want to quietly leave with a little more speed. He may wake up and if he asks if you are hungry or want to get coffee accept the offer. If he doesn’t just say, “last night was great.” and leave. If he is truly interested in you he will reach out to you again. Keep in mind he may say a lot of things about you meeting his friends or how you would get along with x, y or z. This does NOT mean he is wanting you to be his girlfriend. He is just playing things out in his head and possibly telling you a story as it turns him on. Yes, guys can be crazy manipulative.
Of course, there is also the possibility of the guy laying in bed with you still the next morning and if you start to move or get up he may roll over and hold you. This will warm your heart and give you all kinds of fuzzes. BUT hold on. It could just simply be he wants to go another round. So don’t plan what your kid’s names are just yet. Play it cool and enjoy the moment you two are having now. If he wants something more he will make that apparent in the next coming days/weeks.
If you are at your place when this goes down it can be a little more tricky. The guy may just roll over and start to put his pants on and at this point, you should also put on a t-shirt or something casual and walk him to the door. If he reaches in to give you a kiss reciprocate and kiss back. If he doesn’t just play it cool and close the door behind him. There is the possibility that he will go to the bathroom and while in there snoop around and tease you about all your beauty products. Again just go along with it and play it cool. He is just investigating you, but no more should be read into this. Men are like cats and are very curious about how we live and work.
By now you /he have/has left and are in a dreamy state of reliving how amazing it all was. Just keep those thoughts to yourself and girlfriends. Don’t start sending him a bunch of heart emojis. Now comes the waiting. This can feel like torture because it could be days or weeks before you hear from him if ever. The best thing to do is just keep doing you! Yes, I know you hear this from everyone, but the truth is that there is nothing more appealing to a guy then a girl who has a great life of her own and he needs to work to be part of it. Men like to chase to find the right one. Having sex on the first date is absolutely fine if it’s what you want to do.
Don’t get me wrong, there are guys who love to be chased and it gives them this ego, but they will get bored and then you are left in the dust with a confused look on your face of what just happened.
In this time of waiting is a great time to have a sponsor (i.e. bestie) that you can go to when you are feeling the urge to text him. Holding out will only make the guy think about you even more. He will wonder where you are, if you enjoyed the sex, or is another guy out there making a move that could steal you away.
At this point, you will depend on when and how he reaches out to you that will determine what his intentions are. If it is late at night, whether it is a weeknight or weekend, he only wants sex. He has decided that your date was just a hookup and you are the “fun” girl that he can call when he just needs some. If he reaches out to you in the middle of the day this is a good sign that he was thinking about you while he had a free minute or even possibly while he was working. Playing it cool will keep him on his toes and reaching out again. Having sex on the first date really isn’t a big deal.
Just remember to be the owner of your mind. Do not let people who treat you with silence or disrespect turn your mind into their home. There are guys on every corner and a new possibility is out there when your eyes are open.
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