Planning a wedding can be a seriously daunting task. And for brides-to-be who have anxiety, it can seem overwhelming.
What works for you when you know that you’re getting anxious or panicky? It might be a good idea to write these things down and give them to a trusted person. That way, if you feel it coming, you already have ideas on how to calm yourself down. You don’t have to worry about remembering. (Which, in and of itself, can be a cause for anxiety!)
If you know that you can handle a crowd of people, or being the center of attention for only so long, make sure that you schedule a little bit of time for you to regroup. It’s ok to disappear for ten minutes here and there to make sure you are centered, relaxed and enjoying yourself. You don’t want to find yourself in the bathroom ruining your make up because you had a full-blown panic attack in the middle of your ceremony or reception.
Anxiety can be so much worse when you’re hungry, so make sure you’re eating. Take a few minutes to grab a comforting and nourishing snack every now and then to keep your stomach from rumbling and making you uncomfortable. Use your designated person to help you remember if you need to. That’s what your friends and family are there for. To help make sure you have an amazing and memorable night.
Find someone you trust, who knows you well, to keep an eye on you. If they spot any of your warning signs for anxiety or a panic attack arising, they will be able to pull you aside and help you take a few minutes to calm down and breathe. This would be the perfect person hand over the list of ways you know work to calm you down to. They will be able to hold on to it and use them (if they don’t already know them!) to keep you calm or calm you down if an attack has already started.
Keeping a detailed timeline of your night somewhere it’s easily visible can help an anxious bride because it allows her to visually see her night. If she knows that she gets a ‘chill out break’ at 8pm, she can use that to watch the time and assess how she’s doing. It can help her analyze how much longer she has until that break as well. I think most everyone has done this with their workday. ‘Only 2 more hours. Only 1 more hour.’ Same concept.
Remember your partner is there for you too. Trust in them to work with you and help you through this day. They may be able to read you better than anyone, so use that. Rely on them to help with the details, to steer guests away if you need a break and to help you remember to eat. They love you and want you to enjoy your night. Trust in them to help. Giving them the knowledge that you are trusting them to aid you through something that can be very difficult for you, shows them that you are putting trust in your relationship. This is probably one of the biggest wedding day tips. Rely on your partner every step of the way.
This is your day! One of the biggest wedding day tips is to remember that it’s ok to be selfish….to a point. Now, don’t go all Bridezilla on your family and friends, but remember that it’s ok to take time for yourself and for you to have things a certain way. If having the napkins folded into triangles instead of leaving them in squares creates an aesthetically pleasing and calming sensation, then insist on triangles. If your bridesmaids outside the room, while your make up is done, gives you that moment alone to think and reflect, then insist that they stay outside the room.
It’s ok if you need help. Whether it’s with the wedding planning, decorating for the wedding or just for emotional support, accept any help that is offered to you and don’t feel selfish for doing so. Everybody needs help once in a while. Let your friends and family rally around you and be your extra hands and eyes. Let them watch out for both disaster, and for your well being. Don’t shy away from their help. Trust them to do what’s in your best interest and that they will keep your wishes in mind when making decisions on your behalf because you’re not around. They’ll do what’s right.
The more decorations that you have, the more you have to worry about going wrong. Keeping a minimalist point of view allows you to think about other things instead of all the small details and what could possibly go wrong on your big day. Without a lot of decorations, it also gives you time to sit back and reflect before the wedding. Especially for those brides who choose to do most of the work themselves, instead of hiring a wedding planner. Less stuff equals less work.
Take on Elsa’s mindset and ‘Let It Go! Let It Go!’ Don’t sweat the small stuff on your big day. Take every chance you get to sit back, relax, and enjoy the day. There are plenty of others around you who would be willing to help with things. Let them check on the food. Let them talk to the DJ. Let them help you with every single detail. Give yourself the change to let your mind and soul relax. Enjoy your new husband. Enjoy your new role as a Mrs. Sweating the small details is a sure-fire way to send yourself straight into a panic attack.
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