So you’ve found yourself in a long distance relationship. It’s scary and overwhelming all at once, I know! Maybe you left for college, your significant other left for college, or maybe you both did. Maybe you’re trying to start a relationship with someone in another city, state, or even across the world and you don’t know what to expect. Maybe you or your SO had to temporarily relocate for a work opportunity. Regardless of the circumstance, you’re worried and fearful of what the future has in store for your relationship. How can such a delicate bond survive the many miles that separate the two of you? Don’t worry, there are ways to make a long distance relationship work!
I recently waved my boyfriend of three years off for a flight that put 2,400 miles between us. I live in Los Angeles and he goes to school in Boston and for the past year and a half, our relationship has been long distance. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you it gets easier, because each goodbye hurts more than the last. But I will tell you that LDR has changed our relationship for the better. It has given us strength, courage, impeccable communication skills, and above all, hope for the future.
The truth is, no matter what your situation is, you care deeply about your SO enough to put your relationship to the test. The only thing that stands between you is the distance and I promise you, it is so worth it. So here are 15 ways to make a long distance relationship work!
1. Accept the circumstances.
Long distance relationships suck, that’s the honest truth. They do nothing but torture and tease you. No matter what you are doing or where you are, your mind is always able to detect a couple. And you look up just in time to catch them exchanging mushy romantic moments right in front of you, reminding you of the one face you wish you could plaster in kisses. But unless whatever is keeping you two apart comes to an end, there is nothing you can do about the situation. You can only change your outlook on it. Embrace your LDR with positivity and excitement, accept the situation as it is, and your relationship will reflect the positivity and excitement right back at you!
Time zones can be tricky and you might both have hectic schedules but put in the effort to communicate daily! A simple exchange of good morning and good night texts can do wonders for you two. It’s a simple gesture that reminds the other person they are your first and last thought of the day, regardless of the busy lives you both lead in the middle. In today’s age, there’s no excuse not to reach out and let them know they are on your mind. So go ahead, text them “I’m thinking of you.”
Make time for each other. Since an LDR lacks many physical aspects, all you two have to rely on is communication, it is what keeps the bond between the two of you strong. So find time once a week that works with both of your schedules, and put it aside for a virtual date! Whether you talk about anything and everything, watch a show on Netflix together, or simply just enjoy each other’s presence, nothing compares to getting to hear their voice again.
Whether short-term or long-term, make plans to look forward to! Plan when you will see each other next, what you two will do to make up for lost time, where you are going to eat. Plan when the gap between you two will close and what you both hope to achieve together in the future. Having something to look forward to together only makes the time seem shorter!
Depending on your financial situations and budgets, visit each other as much as possible! If you’re at home and your SO is in another city, take the opportunity to not only visit them but to explore someplace new, with your partner by your side!
Your partner might not always be available to communicate and it might not always work out for you two to see each other in person. Be accepting of each other’s schedules and of the fact that you might have to compromise things for each other, whether that means cancelling a Girl’s Night Out to stay in with your SO on Skype or showing understanding if they can’t make it out to see you.
Let your inner child get creative with the situation! Create a countdown in your agenda or calendar, or even on your phone for when you see each other next and watch the days go down. It’s more exciting than you think to see a 10 turn into a 9!
Trust is the foundation for any strong relationship. Trust your partner to stay loyal to you. Chances are, if they agreed to a long distance relationship, they want to be with you and no one else. So don’t let jealousy or trust issues get in the way.
If something isn’t working for you or you feel off, be open and communicate about it with your SO. It’s important to be honest about what you are feeling in the relationship and how you are handling the situation. Most times, talking it out can help and something that might have been stressing you out can easily be put to rest. You want to know that you are both still on the same page.
This isn’t as necessary for a LDR’s survival but it is cute and gives you both a chance to be fun and creative. In the old days, they didn’t have social media and texting platforms. They were only able to write each other letters and wait for a reply. Luckily, we don’t have to wait days or weeks for a response, but sending each other a letter or even a small gift basket of their favorite candies and snacks can boost your bond!
Whatever the reason may be that separates the two of you, be supportive. Give your partner words of encouragement, let them know that you have their back and are supporting them in everything that they do. Ask them about what is stressing them at work/school/etc. and be the comfort they seek in the midst of it all.
You two are together because you share an attraction for each other. You both liked each other and for the interests, hobbies, and goals you each enjoy. Don’t force yourself on your partner, don’t get upset if they don’t reply right away, or if they start liking something you might not like. Leave them enough room to be their own individual outside of the relationship. They still love you, so there is no need to clip their wings.
You were your own individual before them and you still are with them. Take the time you two have apart to focus on yourself. Do the things you don’t have time for when you are with them. Start your new work-out routine, go to that concert, take on some new hobbies, volunteer, go on a trip with friends. Focus on yourself and on the things you love. Your partner will always be with you, but free time won’t.
Goodbyes are hard. No one ever looks forward to the excruciatingly painful last hugs and last kisses until you see each other next. But each time you say “goodbye” you’re one step closer to saying “hello” again. So kiss them like it is the last time and remind them that you will see them later.
Their hugs, their laugh, the way their smile curls upwards and into their eyes, the way they hold your hand. The butterflies that swarm your stomach as you wait for them at the airport, the warmth that you feel in your chest whenever you are with them, and the love you cannot sum up into words that you feel for each other are what makes an LDR worth it. It’s always the little things. And it is so worth it.
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