The Ultimate Guide To Owning Your Walk Of Shame

Okay guys and girls, let’s break this down. We’re in college, and most of us are in dorms. Unless you’re somewhere super fancy, the walls are paper thin, and to top it all off, the vents connect the rooms (and the sounds coming from them). Having sex – whether it’s a casual hookup, a rebound, or a full fledged relationship status – can be awkward, and particularly for us girls, embarrassing and down right demeaning. Of course, this only really takes affect the morning after, during the “walk of shame.” And honestly, I hate that term.

Here’s the thing; we’re human. Most of us (reading this) are in college, if not all of us. So hookups are common. Friends with benefits can be great. And long term relationships are super rewarding. But it’s super dependent on who you are as a person. A walk of shame is only shameful if you let it be. So here’s how to turn that walk of shame into a stride of pride.

1. Before you walk out that door, remember how much fun the night before was.

This, of course, only works if it was in fact, fun, but still. You wouldn’t have done it if you didn’t want to. So some part of you was excited about it. Get that part of you to swell with pride.

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2. Do not shy away from anyone.

Hold your head high, puff your chest out like a football player, and strut your stuff. Yeah, you had fun. Yeah, the next door neighbor might already know that. But who cares? They know already. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.

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3. Enjoy the morning breeze.

If you’re in last night’s party dress and you’re holding your heels as you walk barefoot, or if you’re a guy and your hair’s a mess, your shirt is crumpled and your buttons are mismatched, don’t let it stop you from enjoying the refreshing morning breeze. Breathe it in, and let it clear away any potential hangover. Look around and enjoy the natural beauty of your campus. Whether its noticing the nature on your campus or grinning at the birds you see every day, this walk is the perfect time to take stock of what’s around you, and to really appreciate what you’ve got.

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4. Make sure you’re safe.

If you don’t know the person, or wake up in a strange bed with no idea of last night’s activities, take stock of yourself first. If you’re not comfortable being there, get up, grab your stuff, change in the bathroom, and splash some water on your face before getting out. If you don’t feel comfortable and you stay, you’ll end up walking home with your tail between your legs. So stand tall and make yourself feel more comfortable by leaving.

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5. Go with the flow in potential conversations.

If there’s a roommate and he or she is awake before you and your bae, and tries to start a conversation, throw on some form of clothing and let that conversation happen. Let the conversation flow and focus on what you guys are saying. It’ll help you relax, and you’ll care less about everything. So your soon-to-be walk, won’t feel shameful after all.

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6. If the other person is awake before you, get out of bed anyway.

Talk with them; but get up, find your clothes, and put them on. This way, you can both talk without being in extreme close contact, so you’ll be able to tell whether or not you feel comfortable staying and talking (and actually finding out their name) or if you just want to go. And if you do, use the age old excuse of work; look at your watch/phone then say, “shoot! I have an assignment due in thirty minutes!” or, “crap! My shift starts in 10!” Then you can run out the door, and save yourself the hassle of dealing with something you feel uncomfortable with. Ladies, guys do this to us all the time. Only some girls have picked this up, and it’s only fair that we join them and start stealing (and using) their tricks.

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So whatever you do, make sure that you do it with confidence. Try your best not to be insulting, or too obvious with the, “I really couldn’t care less about your favorite breakfast, so I’m going to back out the door right now” play. Remember that the only person whose judgement of you really and truly matters, is your own. So own your body, and let the rest come naturally. Also, please be safe; you know what I mean!