10 Things That’ll Make You Wish You Swiped Left On Tinder
Let’s face it, Tinder is great. It’s fun, it doesn’t take itself too seriously, and it provides the opportunity for us to inflate our ever-growing egos with match after match. But even on an app that’s clearly just here to help us nail a shag, there are certain rules of etiquette which need to be followed. Fellas, please note that any of the following will immediately summon every woman to channel her inner Beyoncé and swipe to the left (to the left mmmmm).
1. If your picture is clearly one of you and your ex-girlfriend.
I know it’s Tinder, but could you scream rebound louder if you tried?!
2. You have nothing more than a pic of you flexing your muscles.
This is a sure-fire way to guarantee that you come across as a class-A arsehole. Now, I appreciate tone-age as much as the next person, but the prospect of an evening filled with protein powder comparisons doesn’t scream take me now.
3. If you have no picture at all.
Literally what is the point of you even being on Tinder. Like, seriously. GTFO.
4. If you have your height followed by the line “because apparently it matters”.
Yes well sorry, Einstein, but it does.
5. If you have some creepy-ass quote and BDSM reference instead of a picture of your actual self.
Why is this even a thing? If I wanted to meet up with murderers I would spend my time leisurely wondering around dark alleyways, thank you very much.
6. If your opening line reveals how much of a psychopath you are.
Ok, maybe psychopath is a bit harsh, but seriously? Beavers?
7. You’re a serial super-liker.
Maybe it’s just me, but super-liking is an immediate turn off. If we match, then it’s clear that it was meant to be. We’re all secretly suppressing our desperation for love by being on Tinder, so let’s not draw attention to our incessant need to be adored, hey?
8. If you ask me “which one are you in the third pic?”.
Mate, I have 4 others of just my face. Either learn to use your eyes or leave me be.
9. Your picture is of you doing the splits.
Why?
10. You refuse to take no for an answer.
You message me “Hey!” and I ignore you, and you keep messaging. As in, It. Does. Not. Stop. “Hey!”. “Hellooooo”. “Hi??”. “Me again!”. ENOUGH.
