Porn. It is a controversial topic, especially in relationships. Many girls have a problem that their boyfriend watches porn for fear that it will give them unrealistic expectations about sex and how they should perform. Many girls also worry that their partner might have a wandering eye and look to porn to satisfy his desire for fantasising about other women, without actually physically cheating.
This can lead to many girls feeling paranoid, for example are their boyfriends thinking about porn whilst having sex with them? As well as them feeling unwanted and insecure given the fact that many female pornstars have absolutely unreal bodies with curves for days. All of these feelings are valid and I can understand them all. However, to play devils advocate, the purpose of this article is to argue that girls shouldn’t get annoyed if their boyfriend watches porn. I personally don’t have an issue with it, and here’s why:
Contrary to what some girls might protest, if your boyfriend watches porn, it isn’t actually cheating. I mean come on girls, wouldn’t you rather your boyfriend watch porn rather than participate in sexual relations with another woman? He might be looking but let’s be real, your boyfriend will never actually meet the girls he might fantasise about for an hour a week (or how often he does it), and he knows that.
You also shouldn’t feel intimidated by such girls as they don’t exactly scream ‘marriage material’ – if hypothetically speaking your boyfriend ever had the chance to meet a female pornstar, he’d quickly realise she isn’t the type of girl he’d take home to meet his parents, or the type of girl he’d settle down with long term. One of the reasons boys engage in porn is to act out their fantasies and to live vicariously through the screen. They will never actually be able to achieve this in real life; it is not a reality or an achievable ideal.
Porn is like acting, it is heavily choreographed and linking to the above point, it isn’t real. Let your boyfriend watch porn and don’t get annoyed as any mentally stable guy knows that porn is fictional. Sure you could argue that porn desensitises men and might lead to them having unhealthy thoughts about sex and women, but this depends how much they watch it. Although men in relationships watch porn, I would like to hazard a guess and say that men in relationships don’t watch as much porn as single men. This is because boys who are coupled up are receiving more sexual satisfaction, stimulation and arousal from their partners so do not need to be turned on through a screen.
As stated in the intro, porn can be dangerous as it can give boys unrealistic expectations concerning sex, however, one reason girls shouldn’t be annoyed if their boyfriends watch porn is that it can actually give your boyfriends ideas about how to make your own sex life exciting and new ways to turn you on. As long as you speak about trying new things, agreeing with what you are and aren’t comfortable with, and establish a safe word to let your partner know if they have gone too far, then introducing certain aspects of porn into the bedroom can be beneficial.
There are so many different types of porn, including porn that exclusively caters for women. This means that porn isn’t something that only men can access and seek pleasure from. So girls shouldn’t get annoyed if their boyfriend watches porn, as it is something that is also available for them, regardless of whether or not they choose to watch it. Why not try watching porn together as a couple? It can be an alternative start to foreplay and to get you both in the mood for sex. You’ll also definitely get your boyfriend’s attention if you mention you watch it, or want to try something in the bedroom that you saw when you were watching porn alone…
Girls you know yourself, if your boyfriend tells you not to do something, the urge to do it anyway can be overpowering. If you tell your boyfriend he can’t watch porn or you try to give him an ultimatum, this can only cause tension and cracks in your relationship. For example, he might turn secretive and start lying to you, telling you he isn’t watching porn but then continue watching it in private. Be honest and open about why you don’t like him watching porn but try to reach a compromise about him cutting down or only watching softer types of porn.
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