Urban Dictionary’s definition of “girl code” is ‘the code of guidelines that girls most obey in order not to get kicked out of the community.’ A little harsh, don’t you think? I’m pretty sure it’s more empowering to support the decisions of fellow females and own the choices that you make as a woman.
Why wait for your bestie’s heart to get broken when you can see that’s exactly what’s going to happen? Adhering to girl code and being polite about their other half really only serves a selfish purpose – to avoid awkwardness and potential fallout. Whatever happened to honesty is the best policy?! If you don’t like their partner, for whatever reason, let them know, because your opinion means more to them than you realise and friends (just like mums) usually know best!
If you’re having visions of your best friend making a move on your boyfriend/girlfriend when they’re alone together, you’ve either got some insane trust issues or extremely bad choice in friends…We all want our friends to get along with our partners so if they’re getting on so well that they enjoy hanging out one on one, how can we complain? As long as they don’t start third-wheeling our dates, all is well.
As much as you love them, they’re not perfect. Whether they’re arguing with their partner or a girl outside of the group, they may be in the wrong. If this is the case, you should tell them! True friends won’t question your loyalty, but instead, appreciate your honesty as it will make them reflect on the situation and resolve it more easily.
Probably the most well-known rule of girl code is: Never sleep with someone who your friend has slept with. When it comes to serious ex-boyfriends then yes, this may be justified, but if not then why the hell not?! Contextual factors obviously play a big part in determining whether you should break this aspect of girl code or not, but if you know your friend well enough, you’ll know if the friendship will be broken or strengthened by your decision.
Plus, it makes quite a story when your entire girl group has slept with the same guy…the ultimate bonding experience!
If you’re the girl that is forever standing by whilst your friends crack on with the hot guys they’ve ‘claimed’ but you rather fancy, back yourself for once! You deserve to be romantically happy too, and if that means temporarily upsetting a friend, sometimes it has to be done. Look out for number one.
Not every girl wishes to share the intimate details of their sex life with their girlfriends. And that’s okay. We shouldn’t feel pressured into revealing all our bedroom antics, especially details about our romantic partner which we don’t have their permission to share! ‘Tell us everything…’ is a request that girls expect their friends to answer, without withholding any information, but certain details should remain private between you and your partner.
Girl code prescriptivism is, more often than not, the root of arguments between friends. Using it as a point of reference is childish and decontextualizes your friendship and the incident that’s occurred. The most important thing is to be open and honest with your friends and standby the decisions that you all make so that female empowerment continues to grow.
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