Why Friendships Should Be The Basis Of Romantic Relationships

So often we view friendships and romantic relationships as two separate spheres. This may well be because we are programmed to believe that they cannot be merged into one. Friends are friends, those we confide in, have a laugh with and share common interests with, while romantic partners are those who we share our lives with, comfort in times of discomfort and share intimate moments with. However, what better relationship can there be than one of both romance and friendship simultaneously? Why not have the best of both worlds?

1. You have common interests

Generally, the basis of a friendship is common interests, whether this be hobbies, sense of humour, similar talents etc. These common interests help us to forge a bond and make us want to spend time with the other person. In a relationship, you may have fallen in love with the person without sharing similar interests with one another and while it may be wonderful in the beginning, it can eventually lead to issues with boredom and compatibility. If you are friends with your partner – sharing common interests – the chances are your relationship will flourish and last.

2. You can hang out as well as be intimate

Romantic relationships are more passionate than those of friendships. As much as you love the person and want to spend time with them, the intensity can sometimes be quite draining. On the other hand, friendships allow you to pipe down, chill out and enjoy the moment. It is no wonder we often run for a date with friends for a breather when the romance is all a bit much; friends hang out and romantic partners are intimate. When your partner is also your friend, there is no need to choose between the two; you can switch from romance to hanging out like friends and back again whenever you feel like it!

3. You like each other as well as love each other

Romantic relationships are complicated things – more complicated than they need to be at times. You love the person you are in a relationship with, but you may not always like them! This is where a friendship with your partner is helpful; unlike a romance which is based on passion and intense emotion, a friendship is based on liking the other person due to commonalities between you, so ultimately, being in a relationship with a friend will ensure that you always like them, not only love them.

4. You have no secrets

We all know that everyone has a dirty secret or two that they keep hidden away from their partners for any number of reasons; perhaps they feel they cannot be open with them for fear of judgement or rejection. On the other hand, friends don’t have such secrets – they support one another no matter what. In a romantic relationship, having a friendship can help you to be open and confide in your partner without reservation. What a great perk of having your partner double as your friend!

5. Interacting doesn’t take effort

At times interaction in romantic relationships can take so much effort! From feeling the pressure of having to look good for the other person all the time, to paying the right number of compliments, to saying the right thing at the right time. Friendships are so much easier – everything feels natural and easy. A friendship-based romance is the same!

6. You are more likely to be yourself around them

Friends are exposed to our dorkier, more playful sides, as well as our moody, grumpy sides. In a romantic relationship we feel more self-conscious and as a result we suppress the less desirable sides of our personalities so that we can maintain the allure and mystique that initially attracted our partners to us. Some people go as far as trying to hide simple human behaviours around one another; I know couples who have been married for over twenty years and have never left the door open when using the washroom while in each other’s presence. The good news is, when you are friends with your partner, you don’t feel the need to filter any part of yourself – you can be entirely yourself around them without fear of putting them off.

7. Friends are loyal

We all worry about loyalty and fidelity in a romantic relationship from time to time. We develop insecurities about ourselves and our partner cheating on us as a result. However, we don’t have the same fears with friends; friends are loyal and stick with each other no matter what.

8. If you ever do breakup, chances are you’ll keep in touch

Sometimes in life, two people part ways despite their best efforts and compatibility. Sometimes breakups are amicable and end on a positive note, but more often we hear of relationships ending badly and two people who may have spent years together never speaking again. In a friendship-based romance you still enjoy the other person’s company and still share many interests despite a dissolution of romance. So instead of splitting up and cutting each other off, you can simply shake off the romantic element of your relationship and retain the friendship. Everyone wins!