What Do To When She Says ‘It’s Nothing’
If you’ve experienced a relationship you’ve no doubt been met with notorious answer: ‘it’s nothing’.
We know how it goes- at some point you notice she might be seeming a bit unwell, troubled, or maybe just a little on the quiet side. And so you ask, ‘What’s wrong?’
It couldn’t be a more of a simple response, right? If only it was that easy! It’s one of those great mysteries we might not ever get an answer to…
Understanding her might not be an option at the time, but there are some measures you can take to ensure that matters aren’t made worst.
It’s never ‘okay’
Let’s begin with what you firstly shouldn’t do in the wake of hearing ‘it’s nothing’ – that being to accept the answer for what literally is. DO NOT immediately respond with words like ‘okay’, ‘aight’, or ‘cool beans’. Nine time out of ten she does want you to feel concerned for whatever she’s going through, it might just not be the right time for her to say. By taking ‘it’s nothing’ literally, however; you could show a lack of consideration and reinforce reasons for not wanting open up about her issue in the first place. Saying ‘okay’ is not okay – confused yet? Sometimes the most important things is just taking into account how she feels.
Reassurance is crucial
Trust makes for the largest part of a relationship. If, indeed, there is something wrong- her falling into the answer of “it’s nothing” could be due to her feelings of nervousness, embarrassment, shyness, insecurity, or fear. Nevertheless, just because she’s feeling one or more of these emotions at the time doesn’t mean she has to continue doing so. At best you might be able to diffuse any similar situations in the future before they even happen. Emphasising to her that she has options can relieve some pressure. By simply stating that you do care and that she can come to you for anything can at least reassure that you’ll always be there when she’s comfortable and ready.
Offer an escape
If you feel she can do with an extra dose of happiness you can follow up with a question about doing something. Kicking back together with some Netflix and a comedy could help lighten the mood, or a leisurely walk outside could become a great way for her to escape and getaway problem for a while. The options are limitless, and really comes down to anything you enjoy doing together in your down time. Whether she agrees to or not, the point is your making the effort to offer some support. And if by chance you were actually over-thinking the situation, you two will still at the very least be spending some quality, time together.
It’s not all about ‘getting it’
Sometimes we can be stubbornly curious beings. After all, it’s human nature to want to know and understand the world around us. All the same, this can lead to major downfalls in your relationship if you’ve just clashed with the ‘it’s nothing’ reply. It might sound a bit degrading, but her real explanation could be held back because she feels you just wouldn’t understand, or even if you did, she feels there’s no way of you positively contributing to the situation. But guess what? That’s still okay! The best thing you can do is remain humble and patient. DO NOT assert your obligation to know and continue pestering for a clear and thorough answer.
