5 Ways To Deal With Rubbish Mates
There is nothing worse than having to put up with rubbish mates. Over the years I have had my fair share of rubbish mates in my life. It’s taken me a long time to realise that I don’t have to put up with those that treat me like crap. It’s horrible when you have to lose a friend, even if they were rubbish in the first place, so there are steps you can take to try to fix a relationship before cutting it off completely.
1. Work out what exactly about the relationship is putting you off.
Is it an unexpected change in their behaviour or a growing problem? What’s changed all of a sudden that means you just don’t get on anymore? You need to work out whether or not it might be because you are both responsible. You need to address your own issues before confronting your mate.
2. Is it definitely them?
Is the change in your dynamic their fault? or have they got a new partner that might be controlling them? There might be a much deeper issue and their new behaviour could be a cry for help. Pull them aside and check on how their relationship is going, or check how things are at home. This does not excuse the way they have been treating you, but it may also be an indication that they are pushing you away when they need you most
3. Consider the benefits.
Is there any reason to keep your mate around? If they are part of a bigger friendship group it won’t be easy to get rid of just one friend, it might be more beneficial for you to keep them around for a bit longer, just at an arm’s length, if you just wait it out you’ll probably be able to just grow apart.
4. Sit them down to talk.
If you aren’t ready to let go of your friend, sit them down to talk. In all likelihood, they probably don’t know that they are making you uncomfortable and are too wrapped up in their own drama to even notice they’ve been treating you like crap. If they really are your friend, they will understand and work with you to try and fix the problem in your relationship.
5. Walk away.
If you have tried everything and there’s no improvement, then it’s time to end the friendship. If it is hurting you, making you uncomfortable and is no longer beneficial to you or them, it’s time to drop the friendship and walk away. This will not be easy. It is likely they will still be friends with others in your circle, they may be in your classes/your office, there will have to be some form of communication still. Try to distance yourself slowly, stop hanging out as much, try not to share too many secrets. Try to make it a casual drift, because if they are a spiteful person their immediate response is going to be to tear you down and take your friends any way they can.
