11 Things To Expect Your First Time Having Sex

Ask anyone about their first time; most will laugh or shake their head with an ‘if only you knew’ look. This is because the first time you have sex can usually come with some learning curves. That being said, it is a part of life. So whether you are 16 or 60, here are 11 things many can expect during first time sex.

1. You will have never felt so vulnerable in your life!

This is the first time you’re going to be naked in front of another human being for the first time (most likely). Your mum giving you a bath when you were a toddler is a different kettle of fish! Every insecurity you have with your body will be on full display. There is no way to prepare yourself for this level of nakedness and intimacy. But be comforted by the fact that the other person is in the same boat as you.

2. Awkwardness…

The fact of the matter is, it doesn’t matter whether you have a six pack or are carrying some holiday weight, whether you are in your prime or mature time of your life, or whether you know your partner like the back of your hand (this is ideal) or you met them 3 hours ago; the first time you have sex is going to feel a bit awkward. Questions such as what piece of clothing shall I remove first?, where shall I put my arm? and how the hell is he going to fit that in there? Are running through your mind. Do you speak or just grunt away in the silence? The answer is, sex isn’t like the movies, and it is unrealistic to think that it is. Just relax and let whatever happens, happen.

3. Foreplay won’t be as long as it should be.

Would you run a marathon without warming up first? I should hope not! The same goes for sex too, especially the first time. Your body is about to experience something it never has before, you owe it to yourself to prepare it as much as possible. If like me you had a small window of opportunity whilst the parents were out, it is difficult to relax and take your time. But do the best that you can. Every little helps.

4. Putting a condom on seriously kills the mood.

PSHE class tried to prepare you for this moment. It all seemed so simple when sliding the condom over the banana. But this time is no laughing matter. You’re already nervous, so trying to put a slippery balloon thing onto his manhood is not going to help that. The condom could be too small or too big, too slippery or too dry… Next thing you know the mood is dead and your friend isn’t so happy to see you anymore… But don’t make the mistake of having sex without one! You don’t want the panic of a pregnancy or STI scare.

5. You’ll have no idea how to proceed.

So you’re in the bedroom, you know what you want to do…now what?! Unfortunately this is the part you can’t plan. Even if you have a plan, your mind is likely to go blank anyway! Just go with the flow and do what feels right.

6. Pain is likely.

Your body is about to go through something it never has before. Let’s be honest, for a girl, sex is invasive. This invasion doesn’t come without feeling a little uncomfortable at the start. However, as your body gets used to the intrusion, you will start to forget about the slight pain and enjoy yourself… trust us!

7. Missionary will be your safety net.
It’s all well and good going into your first time thinking there will be acrobatics and the Karma Sutra will come to life… it’s a little unrealistic. You will most likely start in missionary and keep it safe there. If you feel comfortable, by all means try some other intermediate positions…just don’t push your luck or you could come out of your first time with an injury…

8. Blood on the sheets is totally normal.

There is a chance that you won’t bleed if your hymen has broken naturally. But most women experience the loss of blood during or after their first time having sex. It shouldn’t be much, just spotting as if it was the first day of your period. If it looks like someone has been murdered in your bed, you need to call the doctor. However, it is important to remember that bleeding is normal, and it isn’t something you need to freak out about – it just shows the hymen has broken.

9. You’ll feel more mature afterwards.

Chances are you will feel like a whole new woman after the deed is done, and will immediately want to tell your besties. After all, this was a big event in your life. However, make sure you are away from your partner before you give a play-by-play run down to your friends, it’s only polite.