So it is time to take your relationship to the next level, you are finally ready to move in with your significant other and to establish your own little love nest. In your head you imagine living together is like date night every night: cooking countless romantic meals, having unlimited sex, falling to sleep and waking up next to your partner – you can’t get enough of the idea of living together. However, you also need to be aware of the reality of living with someone and of all the practicalities that come with owning your own place. For it’ll be a big shock to your system to go from seeing your partner most days of the week, to actually living with them every day. But to make your job easier below is a list of ten things to consider before moving in with your significant other:
Okay, so this first question might sound REALLY obvious, but it is also the most important. Do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with your partner, are they somebody that you can spend a lot of time with without annoying you, or you resenting them? This is something you have to consider before moving in with your partner as there is no point moving in with someone you don’t see yourself being with long-term. You should not feel obliged to move in with someone just because it feels like the next natural ‘stage’ in your relationship. It should be your choice and it should fill you with excitement. It is inevitable that you will find out everything about your partner and be exposed to all their habits and quirks – do you feel like you’re ready for this?
For example, are you moving in with your significant other with the long-term goal of getting married to them and having their children? Do you want to establish yourselves as a couple and create a foundation for both of these things to come? Living together should provide some sort of purpose and you should have certain goals and aims in mind. Living together can provide the true test of your relationship and determine if you are ready for more serious things. Overall, it is important to share the same values and morals. This is one of the biggest things to consider before moving in with your significant other!
Have you got enough money to move in with your significant other? Whether you are considering buying or renting your own place, you need to make sure you have the funds to do this. You also need to make sure that your partner is financially reliable and that you can depend on them equally – one partner should not be paying more than the other. You should also establish payment methods- will the money come out of a joint account or will you have your own, separate accounts but pay the bills together? You need to be frank and open about outstanding debts, incomes, expenses and credit scores (I know it sounds boring but it is necessary).
Do you both want to live in the same area? For example, would you both want to live halfway between both of your families? Would it be easier to live near transport such as a railway station for work? Or near a primary school if you see children on the very distant horizon? Location needs to be discussed, it is a good idea to work out if you and your partner have a preference and then if you disagree, to try to compromise.
Sorry to be pessimistic here but it is important to consider that your relationship might deteriorate and might not endure long term. Therefore, it might be an idea to consider making a ‘break-up plan’ just in case. This is not confirmation that you don’t believe in your relationship, or that you don’t love one another, but just that you are sensible. For example, it is important to protect your own assets and also your partner’s- this might be physical belongings, but also in terms of money.
One of the main things to consider when moving in with your significant other is the day to day realities of chores and household maintenance. In today’s world, gender binaries, although they still exist, are less rigid and oppressive compared to the past. This means that there is equality within the home in terms of washing, cooking, cleaning etc. Sit down with your partner before moving in and decide which tasks and responsibilities you would both be happy doing – this way you will both be supporting one another and creating a home that you are proud of.
One thing you have to consider before moving in with your significant other is that you won’t be able to carry on with your life in the way that you have always been used to. I am stating the obvious here, but when you move in with your partner, you will have to compromise some of yourself and your free time. When you live alone, or with family, you have your own free space to do what you want, but when living with someone you will have to make small adjustments. You need to ask yourself whether or not you are prepared to do this?
One thing to consider when moving in with your partner is how to keep your relationship as exciting as possible. Living together might mean that sex can become as routine as your cleaning rota; it is important not to take each other for granted just because you spend so much time together. Think of ways in which you might surprise and pleasure each other – this might mean factoring in date nights, or christening each room of your house…
Sure you will be moving in with your significant other as a couple, but you can’t spend every night of the week just you two. This is not healthy. You need to consider how often you will factor in having guests over to your house such as family and friends. For example, your partner might want a ‘boys’’ night and you might want a ‘girls’’ night once a month – make this a thing so that you don’t grow bored of each other’s company.
The last thing to consider when moving in with someone is what you will actually bring with you out of your existing possessions. For example, will you buy all new furniture, or will you bring things with you? In all likelihood, your family home will be much bigger and spacious compared to the first home you live in with your partner, so only take the things you know you’ll need and what you couldn’t possibly live without. So there you have it, a list of ten things to consider before moving in with someone. Can you think of anything else to consider? If so, then answer in the comment section below.
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