8 Things Only Real Scots Will Understand

Scots, this is the article you've been waiting for, keep reading. Non-Scots, take notes! Here are 8 things that only real Scots will understand.

Ever wondered what it’s like being a real Scot? Well, wonder no more with these 8 things that only real Scots understand.

1. Do You Like The PlayStation?

An instant classic flirtation that real Scots understand, guaranteed to get you any man or woman instantly. “A like the PlayStation. Do you like the PlayStation?” or maybe even a little, “Have you heard aw the new rapper music? Av heard it. And a like it.”

2. Gads

Gads (adjective) • /gah-dz/ • something that can be described as disgusting, usually in exclamation.

Synonyms: Ew, gross.

Person 1: “Do you smell that? That’s disgusting!”

Person 2: “Aw gads!”

Most commonly heard in Ayrshire but this word is used all over Scotland. If something is particularly disgusting, it can be extended to gads-a-f**k.

3. Getting Drunk In Fields

No one knows why, it’s almost like it’s hard-wired into the Scottish youth, but when we hit a certain age usually between 12-14 we spend weekends lying to our parents by saying we’re staying at a friends and getting drunk in fields with alcohol usually supplied by older siblings or corner shops that didn’t ask for ID.

4. Bits & Pieces

This 1995 masterpiece by Artemesia is Scotland’s unofficial national anthem! You can guarantee to hear this at just about every house party and every week on George Bowie’s Saturday night radio show. In 2016, it came to the attention of radio hosts that Scottish DJ, Calvin Harris, had never heard this song before. He went on to finish his 2016 T In The Park set with this tune later that day and it was legendary.

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5. Away And Play With The Buses

If you were ever told “away and play with the buses” as a child most Scots understand that this was parent jargon for “you’re annoying me, go outside and play”. When you really think about it, it maybe isn’t the best thing to tell a child to do but looking back it also meant you could go and play outside with your friends so I guess it was a win/win.

6. Non-Scots Doing A Scottish Accent

Any non-Scottish actor trying to do a Scottish accent, no matter how much they think they’ve nailed it, almost always is the most awful thing a Scot can listen to. It’s one of Scotland’s pet peeves that Hollywood, or even British films and tv shows, cannot simply cast a Scottish actor to play a Scot and even the few Scots who are cast to act with their own accent, exaggerate their accent so much so that they might as well have cast someone else.

7. Princes Street

Perhaps this is limited to those of us who don’t live on the East Coast, but when visiting Edinburgh and walking down Princes Street, all you can think of is the very first opening scene to Trainspotting where Renton and Spud are running through Princes Street and the rest of Edinburgh city center.

8. Duke Of Wellington

The Duke of Wellington equestrian statue was first erected in 1844 in George Square, Glasgow where it lived in peace up until roughly the 1980s when it became a tradition for students to climb onto the statue and place a traffic cone on the Duke’s head and since then the tradition has stuck. In 2010 Glasgow City Council were going to fund restorations so that students could not climb the statue but an online petition shut that down quickly and the project has since been abandoned. In 2011, it was listed as one of the top 10 weirdest world monuments by Lonely Planet. Recently the Duke has been spotted with Scottish musician, Lewis Capaldi’s face taped over his own and the traffic cone still in place as always.