Things I Wish I Knew Before I Experienced Foreplay

I cannot stress the importance of foreplay, the thought of someone entering me down below without any stimulation beforehand actually makes me want to cry. I can’t imagine the sensation would be much better for my boyfriend either; the Sahara Desert and sandpaper are two things that keep coming to mind… Anyway, painful mental images aside, foreplay is a must must must before the main event: sexual intercourse.

Having said that, there is no need to rush foreplay to get to penetration, as I would say that foreplay can be more enjoyable than sex and can help you achieve a more powerful orgasm. That is if it is done properly, both you and your partner are properly warmed up, and if you tell your partner what really gets you going (your assertiveness will probably also turn him on more). I am sure as many of you are reading this, you are reliving an awful experience of foreplay in your minds, it’s okay it happens to the best of us, and if you haven’t experienced foreplay yet then don’t worry, the purpose of this article is to enlighten you about the things I wish I knew before I experienced foreplay myself…

1. You can’t afford to skip it.

As gross as this sounds: the wetter the better. Foreplay is absolutely essential before sex to ensure a smooth entry that isn’t painful for you or for your partner. And ladies, if you have a tendency to get very slippery down there, it turns men on more and it feels better for them too! It is also a huge ego boost for your partner the wetter you get as it shows they are doing a good job and that you are sexually aroused by them. Also FYI girls: don’t be embarrassed if you do get very wet down below, some boys actually comment on it, but it is nothing to be ashamed about and if they try complaining, just tell them it is their fault you are so wet! Alternatively, if you have trouble providing enough lubrication yourself, then always resort to lube.

2. You will experience breathing difficulties during a BJ.

By BJ I mean a blow job. Girls I am going to be honest, no matter the penis size, big or small, when you are going down on a boy, especially the more into it you both get, you will probably get a little flustered trying to breathe. Why the concept of choking turns many boys on, it can freak girls out. But don’t worry, ease your way into going down on a boy, start off slow and learn to regulate your breathing (I mean your mouth is a vital part of the inhale/exhale process so when something is inside it, it makes it particularly difficult to breathe like normal) and then up the anti as and when you feel comfortable.

3. Your mouth/hand will most definitely ache.

It is never good to rush foreplay and your partner probably won’t appreciate you going down on him or giving him a hand job for a few minutes only. You really want to prolong giving him pleasure until he can’t contain himself so as to guarantee extra hot and passionate sex! But unfortunately, as I learnt the hard way, your mouth will ache during a BJ and your hand will ache during a hand job. You might even get cramp or lock jaw. Be prepared for this and if you really can’t power through, then stop and resume when it passes. You are meant to enjoy stimulating your partner and being the giver, as much as they are meant to enjoy being the receiver.

4. Ask your partner what they like.

Many people feel extremely self-conscious about foreplay; the first time you do it, your brain will literally be working in overdrive with thoughts such as: ‘am I doing it right? Is my partner enjoying it?’. The key to overcome such insecurities is to ask your partner what they like beforehand and to get them to show you first maybe. Because in all honesty, you and your partner both know what you like best from one on one masturbation, so you will be helping each other out by sharing such intimate details. Plus no one is going to be an expert their first time round.

5. The penis is ugly.

Sorry lads but there is point sugar coating it, your penis is ugly. I’m sure some are nicer than others but just prepare yourself ladies that when you see a penis for the first time, it won’t be as chiselled or as perfect as the naked statues reminiscent of ancient Greek and Roman times. They look weird but I can assure you that once it is inside you, you will learn to appreciate the penis!

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6. Spit or Swallow- the choice is yours.

Ideally at the end of a BJ you want your partner to reach orgasm and with an orgasm comes come/cum (who even knows the correct way to spell it?). Girls you have two options to keep mess to a minimum: either spit or swallow. Don’t listen to your partner if they tell you to do one thing, do what you want to do. If you are happy to swallow then swallow (some people like the taste and taste is actually improved the better your partner’s diet is), but if you are not happy to swallow then don’t. Never be forced to do something you don’t want to do, especially in the bedroom.

7. Putting on music can be a good idea.

So the first time you experience foreplay it is more than likely to be a little awkward. Regardless of whether your partner is going down on you, or you are going down on your partner, you will both be feeling a little shy and nervous. This means that you might not be as vocal to start off with compared to as your relationship progresses (or as you get more experience), which also means there may be some awkward silences. Stick some music on in the background to fill avoid this and maybe create a sexy playlist of songs you both enjoy and that get you in the mood.

8. Check your partner’s nails beforehand.

Girls a word of warning, always check your partner’s hands before they go to finger you for the first time. I am not saying to refuse to cooperate if they haven’t had a fresh manicure, but just check they don’t have jagged or rough nails. Otherwise, you could face the risk of getting cut down below and this can leave you feeling really raw and sore- a very unpleasant combo.

So there you have it, a list of a few things I wish I knew before I experienced foreplay. Can you think of any other things that might be helpful to know beforehand? If so, then answer in the comments section below this article.

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