It can be agonizing when you’re in a relationship but your head and heart aren’t necessarily confirming that it’s perfect and you’re meant to be. Sometimes it just clicks and you know it feels right, but often it can be harder to determine how you feel and what the right decision is. After all, no relationship is perfect, and everyone doubts their partner from time to time. It can be hard to find a partner right for you. However, when you’re really not sure what to decide, there are some serious questions you must ask in order to understand the best way to proceed. Here are 10 serious questions to ask in a relationship when you’re not sure. There are no wrong answers, only insightful and helpful ones.
Trust is everything; it has to exist as one of the core foundations of any relationships. It’s what makes you feel safe and secure, and means you would never worry about issues concerning infidelity. However, trust has to be earned through behaviour that deserves it. If you don’t trust your partner, ask yourself why. If you feel on edge for any reason, trust in your own intuition and don’t feel guilty for addressing it as an issue. This is one of the most important serious questions to ask in a relationship.
Everybody deserves to feel and know that they’re beautiful, and your partner should make you feel beautiful in the way they speak to you and treat you. Do they tell you you’re sexy? Do they look at you with love? These things are vital, and you should feel fabulous in their company. If your partner doesn’t make you feel beautiful, analyse why. It’s a situation that nobody should have to tolerate. Make sure you are honest when you think about these serious questions to ask in a relationship.
The clue is in the word; partnership. It has to be a thing of equality. Do you feel that your partner reciprocates the support and love that you provide? Whether it’s emotional support, practical support in the form of splitting the house chores or financial support in doing their best to treat you as you treat them, a relationship can’t be one sided. If it’s one sided, you’ll end up feeling resentful.
There’s a big wide world out there to be experienced, and everyone is unique. Does your partner inspire you and ignite your passion for life? Do they teach you things, minor or major? Have they exposed you to new experiences that have shaped you in one way or another? Your partner should make you feel like the best possible version of yourself and encourage you to shoot for the stars. If you feel like they dampen your spirit or drag you down, or even hold you back, it’s not a good sign.
Sex certainly isn’t everything, but it’s another vital aspect of any healthy relationship. Both you and your partner should have compatible attitudes relating to sex, namely what you’re comfortable with and how often you want it. Does your chemistry depend on sex? Do you feel physically attracted to them in the way you’d want? Ask these questions and be truthful with the answers if you’re not sure about your relationship.
When you picture the future with your partner, is it a future that makes you happy? Importantly, do both you and your partner want the same end goal, whether it be kids and marriage or a life spend adventuring? You’ve got to be totally honest at any misalignments between your hopes for the future of the relationship. Kids or no kids is a definite deal breaker.
Being with the right partner means you WANT to go out of your way to do nice things for each other. Things that might mean a real compromise for the one doing something nice. Seeing a movie that the other will love despite not being keen on the genre, eating sushi knowing the other loves it despite not being a huge fan of raw fish. When was the last time your other half went out of their way to just be a nice boyfriend/girlfriend? If they don’t want to or can’t make the effort for you, you’ve got to be honest about whether or not you want to continue. There are some serious questions to ask in a relationship to help you gain a better perspective.
No matter how they treat you, if your partner treats other people like shit or is rude generally, it’s a major consideration. If they’re comfortable being rude to others, there’s nothing stopping them from one day waking up and deciding they can treat you like that. If you’re not sure about your relationship, at the very least look at how they treat those around them such as friends, family or even people they come into contact with in public like shop attendants or waiters. It might be a big eye-opener. Manners and respect cost nothing.
Not everyone can get on and gel with everyone, so your partner can be forgiven if they’re not instantly best friends with your family and friends. However, it’s absolutely critical that they make as much effort as possible and show that they’re willing to try their hardest to get on well with everyone important to you. If they don’t make any effort, you’ll find yourself resentful and in an uncomfortable situation when your loved ones find your partner difficult.
Your goals are important to you, no matter how big or small. If your partner doesn’t support you in your pursuit of what you want out of life, you’re being deprived of one of the healthiest and most loving aspects of a relationship. Ask yourself if they let you make your own choices and respect the decisions you make for your life. If you’re not sure about your relationship, this is a huge indicator of whether or not it’s in a healthy state.
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