The thought of growing old and wrinkly with your partner as you commit to spend the rest of your lives together is truly beautiful. That is if you’ve picked the right person. But how do you know if you and your partner and truly compatible and that you can last long term? Some questions you should ask your partner are: could I live without him? Has it got to the stage where I think about him every minute of the day and wish he was by my side to witness and experience everything at the same time I do? This could be a start, but I would say the only real way to know if you and your partner have a future together worth pursuing is to communicate with one another. Therefore, the purpose of this article is to list five questions you should ask your partner to see if you have a future together.
One of the best feelings of being in a relationship is being able to let all your guards down and be your normal self around your partner; they should be able to put up with all your little quirks and learn to love and work around the little things you do that annoy them. However, if you find your partner wishes to mould you into something you are not, or they want to change something about you, for example your hair, your style, then unfortunately they might not be the right person for you in the long-term. You shouldn’t have to compromise yourself to have a future together.
Insecurity in a relationship can be toxic and if a relationship doesn’t have trust, for example if your partner is constantly worried that you might look elsewhere or cheat on them then in all likelihood you won’t have a future together. The longer you spend with someone, naturally the more challenges you will be faced with and the more hurdles you will have to overcome, you need to trust each other wholeheartedly and be confident that you both have each other’s backs no matter what. Only trust can create a stable foundation to do this; trust not just in terms of fidelity, but also in terms of things like money, passwords to social media accounts etc. Red flags such as jealousy and controlling behaviour are major No Nos.
This is one of the big questions you should ask your partner. The world has come a long way (although there is still a lot of work to be done) from viewing women as second class citizens. Nowadays there is more equality between the sexes in relationships. To determine if you and your partner have a future together, you need to be confident that your partner regards you as their equal and that going forwards you would be a team. You would be able to make decisions together and possess equal power; your partner would use terms such as ‘we’ and ‘us’ as opposed to ‘you’ and ‘I’ to recognise that although you are individuals, you are individuals that can work together.
There, I’ve said it, I’ve thrown the first major life-changing question out there. I am not asking you to ask your partner this after one or two months because no doubt they will probably get cold feet and book the next flight to the other side of the world. But as the months pass by, questions you should ask your partner MUST be to see whether you and your partner have a future together. If you both agree that marriage is an option, then no doubt you will work towards this at your own pace. But if your partner does not want to get married but you do, then you might have a problem and you might have to reassess whether your relationship is worth maintaining, or worth sacrificing so that you can find someone with the same life goals and ideals as you.
Similar to the question above, children are definitely something that have to be mentioned so as to determine if you and your partner have a future together. My own Dad has openly confessed that if my Mum hadn’t of wanted children, then things might have worked out differently and they might not still be together today (with two children I might add). Do you and your partner have the same mind-set and values when it comes to kids? Also when it comes to the idea of parenting and of having a family?
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