What Is Consent? The Consent Rules You Need To Know About

‘Consent’ is my favourite buzzword and it’s being used a lot lately especially in the wake of the #TimesUp and #MeToo movements. Unsure quite what it means or just need a refresher? Read on for the consent rules you need to know the Consent Rules You Need To Know About.

So, what is consent

Consent is, when you break it down to its dictionary definition, ‘ permission for something to happen or agreement to do something‘. Most commonly it’s used in both legally binding contracts and more and more in relation to sex. Consensual sex, pretty simply, is both (or all) partners giving permission for different sex acts to occur. ‘Unconsentual sex’ isn’t a thing, in so far as sex without consent isn’t sex- its rape.

Yes, yes yes!

It’s important to remember that consent isn’t the absence of a verbal no or pushing off. It’s an enthusiastic yes yes yes!  There are so many reasons that people might not feel comfortable saying no it’s important to be undoubtable that they want to have any kind of sexual contact with you.

What’s sexier than hearing how much somebody wants to have sex with you!!!

Yes, consent is sexy! Undoubtably! But remember, its not just a fun add on like dirty talk- it’s mandatory.

If drinking/drugs are involved

the person legally cant consent, even if they say yes at a time, if they can’t legally drive they can’t legally have sex

Age

Age laws flucate by country, generally age 16 is the age of consent in the UK. This includes sending sexy pictures of yourself to your sweetheart if you are under 18- even if its your own body you can be convicted for child pornography. But double check the laws on age gaps, if you’re over 18 there are rules about whether you can have sex with under 18’s ( but above 16’s) linking to our next point-

Authority

One of the issues with age differences is authority- a 47 year old socially has more social power than a 16 year old – this power imbalance can lead to unconsensual sex. Same goes for anyone in a powerful position regardless of age gaps, such as teachers, bosses, priests, celebrities. If someone holds authority over someone else they can’t consent, whether they actually want to or not, the law is clear, in these situations it’s far too easy to coerce or manipulate the Consent Rules You Need To Know About.

Consent can be retracted at any time.

If you’re midway through and then decide you’re just not feeling it anymore, that’s okay! You can take back initial consent and change your mind. Similarly just because you consent to one thing doesn’t mean you consent to another.Just because you have had sex before doesn’t mean you can assume- get consent every time the Consent Rules You Need To Know About.

So how do we practice good consent?

You don’t need a signed contract, just make sure its established, check in with your partner.

Ensure to check off the boxes before initiating anything, make sure they’re of legal age, not intoxicated in anyway and you don’t hold power/authority over them.  Check in with your partner- the question doesn’t need to be direct and sterile but it does have to be clear- ‘do you like X’ ‘ can I X’ ‘ I really want to X would you like that’ ‘is this okay?’. Watch for non verbal consent as well ( but when in any doubt- ask), look out for body language, reciprocation, positive affirmative noises, smiling.

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A girl lying in between two friends high-fiving above her at the beach

Most importantly make sure you keep your lines of communication open. Just because you checked in once when you started doesn’t mean consent goes for all things or the whole time. Make sure, again, to just check in with your partner, avoid guilting, shame or intoxication and be respectful- you can’t go wrong and you’re going to have amazing sex because of it ! the Consent Rules You Need To Know About.

Featured image: weheartit