If you have a crush on someone but can’t tell if they’re into you too, it can be really hard. Some guys may like you but choose to play hard to get in the hope of keeping you on your toes, whilst others, to be truly blunt, just aren’t interested fullstop. Maybe you don’t have the confidence to ask them straight out what’s going on, and if that’s the case, don’t worry at all – here are some tell-tale signs that he’s just not that into you.
This seems like quite an obvious one to start off with, but it’s really important. If he doesn’t often ask you how your day was, or just how you are in general, this is an immediate red flag – it may seem small, but if he really cared about you he’d genuinely want to know how you’re doing. In fact, he’ll want to know every little thing about you – your hobbies, what your favourite colour is, whether you have siblings… need I say more?
Let’s be honest, most people these days are glued to their phones at all times. If it’s been six hours since he last messaged, it’s likely that he’s seen your notification and has decided to scroll past it, deciding that he’ll get round to replying at some point convenient for him. Meanwhile, you’re sat clutching your phone just willing his name to appear on your screen. As sad as it is, this might be a sign that he’s just not that into you – particularly in the early stages of the relationship, he should be wanting to talk to you as much as he possibly can.
Similarly to him not replying, if he doesn’t go out of his way to spend time with you, this man is most definitely not the one. If you find that he barely manages to fit you into his busy schedule, or rarely initiates asking you out on dates, it might be time that you move onto someone who’s actually willing to put the effort in to see you. Trust me, there will be someone out there.
When people hear this, they often think that it’s not a personal attack so not a problem. In your head, he isn’t “not ready to be with you“, he’s just not ready for a relationship, so you’re convinced that soon enough your winning charm will change his mind. Wrong. If he says he’s not ready to commit to you, believe him, because I’m afraid you’re not the girl he’s looking for. If you were, he wouldn’t have doubts about entering a relationship with you, because the thought of letting you go would prove a much worse concept.
Perhaps the guy you’re seeing has met all of your friends, your family, your long-lost relatives and even your pet hamster, yet you’ve realised that you’ve never actually met anyone close to him. This is another massive red flag. If he’s proud of the girl that he’s dating, he should be wanting to show her off, and if he doesn’t, you honestly deserve to find someone who will.
Unless you’ve made some sort of agreement in which you’re just friends with benefits, no strings attached, you should have some sort of emotional connection. He should care if you’re upset and go out of his way to try and cheer you up, as you should for him whenever he’s having a down day. If you’ve realised that he only ever calls you late at night asking you to go to his, and never tries to actually get to know you, then I’m sorry, girl, he’s just not that into you. I’d really recommend telling him whatever you have is over and finding someone who isn’t going to take advantage of you like that.
This is quite an obvious one, so don’t be naive if he tries to play it off as them all just being ‘good friends’. It’s one thing to have friends of the opposite sex, but another one entirely when he’s talking to them 24/7. Please, don’t let yourself get caught in a web of lies, and remove yourself from the situation before you get seriously hurt. You’ll thank yourself for it in the long run, trust me.
Speaking of trust, if he doesn’t let you near his phone this is a major sign that he’s not that into you. If he changes his passcode on his phone or quickly moves it out of your reach as soon as it looks like you’re about to pick it up, it’s going to leave you with so many questions – and rightly so! While you definitely shouldn’t become a psycho and sit next to his phone just waiting for a non-existent girl to message, you should definitely be cautious if he acts suspiciously in any way. If you want your relationship to be healthy, you should be as open as possible with one another.
Being a ‘green-eyed monster’ is a well-known saying, and it’s completely normal to be jealous if the guy you like appears to be flirting with another girl. What isn’t normal is if he doesn’t seem to be at all jealous if you do the same. If he’s perfectly happy for you to go around flirting with every Tom, Dick and Harry, then maybe he’s not the one for you. You want someone to find the thought of losing you to someone else pretty damn scary, not a convenient get out clause.
This is arguably the biggest sign yet. You’re probably always told to ‘follow your gut instinct’ but feel more inclined to ignore it, especially if it’s a feeling that you really don’t want to have. While I can’t deny that it does require some serious bravery, you really should listen to your gut when it comes to the guy you like. If it’s saying there’s a big chance he doesn’t like you back, then this is more than likely true. He doesn’t. If it’s saying he does, trust me, you’ll be able to tell.
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