If we have a look at the many fictional couples we have grown up looking up to, we will find that there are some very unhealthy patterns to them (yes, I am talking about Ross and Rachel from Friends and Ted and Robin from How I Met Your Mother, only to name a few). Watching unhealthy and toxic relationships on TV may have led us to have a very, very wrong idea of what a relationship should be like. However, perhaps the answer is not to go around looking for red flags, but to search for the good and positive signs that will tell you you are, finally (!), in a happy and healthy relationship. These are all the signs of a healthy relationship for you to look for!
When your close friends and family start mentioning how much happier you look since you began dating your partner, listen to them, because the point they’re making is key. Laughing often with your better half is proof that you’re comfortable enough around each other to let your guard down and simply enjoy your partner’s company. Kudos if the humour isn’t necessarily witty and super intelligent! Bad puns and silly jokes imply you don’t feel pressured to constantly beat your significant other in a battle to see who’s the smartest.
If you’ve ever felt the temptation to snoop on your partner’s phone or social media… then it is time you face there’s something wrong with your relationship. If you cannot trust them, loving them will only get harder and harder until it ends up disastrously for the both of you. Healthy couples trust each other, they don’t stay up all night wondering whether or not they’re being cheated on. And if it does happen that they’re feeling anxious about something, they talk things out until they’ve found a solution. There’s no room for isolation in a healthy relationship, and if you do feel like your doubts are not worth talking about… well, if they’re on your mind, let them become words. If her or she is The One, you won’t regret it.
Let’s make this clear first: it is not weird nor unheard of to feel insecure during the early stages of a relationship. Whether it is because you’ve had your heart broken before, you have trust issues, or you’re just unsure about how your partner might react to certain aspects of your personality you don’t feel the proudest of, feeling insecure sometimes is just you being human. That said, when you’re in a healthy relationship you should not feel like you aren’t 100% sure your other half is really into you, even after months since you got together. Your fears that he or she will one day cheat on you, or do something similarly terrible, should be gone as well. If they aren’t: talk, talk, talk!
We totally get it, you’re mad about this person and you want to be with them every waking hour of the day. That’s cool, we’ve been there, done that. But for a good and healthy relationship to work, you really should be careful you two don’t lose your own personality in order to become just the other 50% that makes up a couple. In simpler terms: if you are A and your partner is B, your relationship should be A+B, and not somehow end up turning being C!
Feeling helpless whenever your boyfriend or girlfriend is not around is never a good sign. The moment one of the two becomes emotionally dependent, it’s time to sit down and reconsider things. Your partner is not your shield against the world, they’re not your nanny, and they’re most definitely not in this world solely to take care of you. They are individuals with their own lives, who just so happen to be in love with you. When you’ve come to terms with this truth and you find yourself not needing, but wanting to be with your significant other, you know you’re in a healthy and loving relationship.
If you are a couple, that means you’re a team. If you and your partner are always in each other’s corner to give support and encouragement, you’re doing amazing, sweetie. Little things such as keeping your better half in mind whenever you make plans, including them whenever you have to make a big decision, or just being respectful about how your words and actions affect your boo… those are all tiny but crucial details a healthy relationship is based on.
Do opposites really attract? What if we got that wrong all this time? Someone who is the opposite to us in every imaginable way will hardly be a suitable companion. However, what about the person who stays calm when you become anxious, and loves your outgoing nature because they’re the kind who’d rather stay quiet upon meeting new people? If you and your partner know that it isn’t about being opposites, but finding your balance in order to have a steadier relationship, congrats! It’s a sign of a healthy relationship!
There are too many romantic comedies we could blame for our (wrong) perception that relationships are there to change people. Sure there’s always stuff about each other that might bother you, and you as a couple might even make the effort and change those little habits that make your life in common a bit harder. Still, if you’re months deep in your relationship and you keep asking yourself when will your partner ever change… maybe you’re just not right for each other.
To be in a healthy and loving relationship, you both need to grow up and stop acting like whiny babies who don’t know how to communicate. All the “He’s liked this random girl’s picture on Instagram, so I am not gonna text him until he figures out I’m mad”, or the “I think she’s getting too attached, so instead of telling her I’d like to go at a different pace, I’m going to block her for a few weeks”, all that stuff belongs in the past. Drop the passive aggressive behaviour, grow a pair and start acting like an adult. People who are in healthy relationships do not play silly games, because they aren’t afraid to talk to each other about what’s worrying them. If you and your better half have given up on that sort of behaviour, keep doing what you’re doing.
Repeat after me: your partner should want to see you succeed, your partner should want you to have a happy and fulfilling life, your partner should not hold you back out of insecurity. All clear? Now repeat it again until you’re 100% convinced you understood. A healthy relationship means you will support and encourage each other so that each one becomes the best version of themselves. If you don’t wish your other half good luck on their way to that job interview they’ve been so nervous about, or if they don’t show up at your place to hold you and remind you how damn smart you are after you failed that exam you studied so much for… if you two don’t do that, then what’s the point?
Never believe a couple who claims they never argue; they’re probably lying. Disagreeing and arguing with your better half is neither bad nor uncommon, especially when you spend a lot of time together. Having different opinions on certain matters will not make your relationship less healthy. It actually can be the opposite, as thinking differently will allow you both to learn to listen to each other, even when it’s things you don’t want to hear making it one of the signs of a healthy relationship.
You know everything about each other, and are happy with that. You’ve seen the best and the worst of each other, and yet you’re still sure you’re perfect together. And that’s the most important thing in a relationship: you don’t love your partner despite their flaws, you love them because they are who they are, and you wouldn’t have them any other way.
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