You should always be looking for relationship red flags when dating. Getting back into the dating pool can be exciting. You’re ready to meet new people and start a relationship, but sometimes you can end up being blinded by those rose-tinted glasses. Your new date may not actually be the person you think or expect them to be, so even if you’re having a good time, try to keep an eye out for any red flags early on in the relationship. Don’t let fears stop you from having a good time but if the relationship is already looking rocky near the start then it’s best to leave before it gets worse. Here are some relationship red flags that you should watch out for.
If you’re with an eager beaver who’s moving at a pace that you’re not comfortable with then you may want to consider leaving before it gets out of hand. There’s a chance they probably have some emotional baggage or pressures that they’ve yet to unload – like getting over an ex, pressure from family and friends or they’re just a creep.
Some exes may actually turn out to be the worst person you’ve ever met but if your new partner describes every single one of their exes in a negative way then it’s a little fishy. Odds are that they’re the problem but have yet to realise it.
They might do this in an “innocent” way too. Do they keep touching you – caressing your shoulders or rubbing your arms – even after you’ve asked for personal space and expressed that you’re not in the mood? If this is a regular occurrence then you can take it as a sign of them not respecting your boundaries. What’s their end goal too? Do they ask for favours or expect sex after showing affection? It could show that they expect things from you without taking into account your feelings. You should consider the future in case they push the limits of those boundaries even further. This can be one of the more subtle relationship red flags.
If they’re trying to create distance between you and your family and friends, then please run away now. They are extremely possessive and want to keep you to themselves. Being unable to contact family, or feeling that you can talk to them also makes it a lot easier for abusive relationships to form.
Relationship red flags like this one can deteriorate your self esteem. If they constantly find some of your habits annoying, roll their eyes at you and make derogatory comments, then there may as well be a neon sign above their head, reading: “I don’t respect you”. Ladies, don’t date someone that scorns what you do and reacts with disdain. There are so many people out there, find one that treats you with respect and understanding.
Arguments and disagreements are bound to happen in any relationship, but if you’re dating someone that suddenly flips a switch and turns into another person then it’s a major warning sign. Do they get physical? Do they shout and call you degrading names? Arguments should ideally be solved through discussion from both sides. If it’s very one-sided then things won’t change and the problem won’t be resolved. No resolutions lead to resentment, which leads to more fights, and you definitely don’t want to be stuck in that cycle.
If you’re with someone that acts cold towards you then suddenly switches to full-blown affection and back, then pack your bags and go. This is another red flag that often leads to abusive relationships where a partner makes you feel guilty when they treat you coldly, even if you’ve done nothing wrong. When they treat you affectionately it’s a tactic to make you remember all the “good times” and how they “can” be nice to you and treat you right. Reinforcing this idea makes it seem like you’re the problem in the relationship when you’re not.
They guilt trip you into believing that you’re the bad person in the relationship and then use that to manipulate you into doing what they want. BIG NOPE. Get yourself out of this one girl.
Some people are just more closed-off than others, it’s natural. If you’ve been in this relationship for a long time and they don’t disclose aspects of their life to you then it’s a little suspicious. What are they hiding? Do they disappear for long hours unexplained? Do they hide their phone? And if you ask them about it are they unnecessarily defensive?
Some people are very private about their relationships when it comes to social media and friends. However, if they refuse to make the relationship public and actually hide the fact that you’re dating then you definitely need to start questioning their motives. This is probably one of the biggest relationship red flags out there. You could end up being the “other woman”, some fling or a side chick that he’s too embarrassed to fess up about. Don’t let yourself be walked over by someone like that.
If they constantly demand access to your phone and accounts, or you’ve caught them snooping it’s a big red flag that something isn’t right. It essentially shows a lack of trust and how they don’t have faith in you. How are you supposed to be in a relationship with someone who’s controlling and doesn’t trust you? If they can’t resolve their issues then it’s best for you to leave.
Sex isn’t and shouldn’t be the main driving force in a relationship, but there’s no denying that being sexually compatible is an important aspect. You and your partner should hopefully have similar libidos, or at least have a plan and compromise for any differences in your sex drives. If one partner is the one constantly initiating intimacy it can result in hurt feelings, emotional pressure, damaged egos and a lot of resentment from both sides. You should talk about your compatibility from the beginning and communicate any differences – if you can’t then it’s probably best to let this relationship bite the dust. People have needs.
Don’t date someone that has zero work ethic and motivation. They may make promises of how they’ll get a job or soon reach a promotion, or that they have a business plan that’ll “totally” take off. But if you see no results then those were all empty promises. It’s best to leave someone that has no ambition for themselves because if that’s the case how invested are they going to be in your relationship or any future you have together? It’s likely they’ll slack off and expect you to do the work and provide for them.
What’s even worse is if they cheated with you. First off, girl, what are you doing? Sure, he may seem like a nice guy and sweep you off your feet, but is it a good idea to date a cheater? If they cheated on their last partner then it’s likely they’ll do it again but you’ll be the victim this time. This is an obvious one out of these relationship red flags.
Do they expect you to only go out as long as they’re with you, but then expect you to wait up from them until they come back from a night out? Do they also have different standards about what it means to be faithful in a relationship, such as sending flirty or inappropriately emotional texts to another person? Do they want to try an open relationship if you’re strictly monogamous? If you have drastic differences in relationship standards then trying to compromise probably isn’t enough, both of you will end up feeling dissatisfied and resenting each other.
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