Exploring your sexuality can be daunting and even in some cases dangerous for some people. For this reason many people will go their whole lives without truly understanding or finding pride in their sexuality. This can be incredibly detrimental and invalidating, not to mention a sad experience for our friends. While the road is long and can be hard, it is a journey that is worth taking. Sexuality is very much a scale that can change and you are under no obligation to be one thing or another. The Kinsey Scale can be a good first point of reference but otherwise here are 1o reassuring quotes for the times when you explore your sexuality and hopefully find yourself in the process:
“Don’t listen to yourself; listen to the advice that you give others.” – Michael Lottner
This quote can be helpful to keep our thoughts in perspective. We are our biggest critics and are more often than not hardest on ourselves, this quote reminds us to listen to what we really believe and to treat ourselves the same way we would treat a friend. You are worth the same patience and love you give to someone you care about.
“And my dear friend, if you ever find yourself worrying that you’re growing slowly in life, I want you to be aware that it’s okay to feel this way and that you’re safe to keep on doing what you love. Remember, as long as you keep on going you don’t have to be afraid of anything. Progress is progress. A step forward is a step forward. It’s better to go on with your journey as calm as a turtle knowing that by moving little by little your destination is a place where you didn’t choose to settle.” – Juansen Dizon
Exploring your sexuality will very much be a process, it is not something that will solve itself overnight. For this reason, remind yourself that any progress is still progress. As long as you are safe, like mentioned in the quote above you are doing exactly what you need to do! Do not force yourself or try to rush yourself in your journey of self-discovery, all will be revealed over time and you will learn just what your sexuality is when you have done the right work. Until then don’t settle and just keep moving little by little.
“A great story has a beginning, middle & end but not necessarily in that order. We are all great stories” – Phil Kaye
You have to know that sexuality is not linear and the journey of discovering your sexuality will probably also be a story that does not always make the most sense at times. Do not let this discourage you from making the journey because like Phil Kaye says we are all great stories and the story you write matters regardless of the order in which you discover these things. Just keep writing your story and know that it is all important!
“There’s no competition when you’re manifesting your own lane.” – Dulceruby
When you look around and compare your journey of discovery your sexuality to another person you are doing yourself a great disservice. You are not in competition with anyone else, you are seeking understanding for yourself and your joy alone. So know that if someone’s journey has taken less time or has been easier or harder than your own that in no way reflects on your own! You can support others in their sexuality but don’t confuse theirs for your own.
“Being must be felt. It can’t be thought.” – Eckhart Tolle
It can be frustrating that we can’t just use rational thinking to figure out what our sexuality is. Sexuality is something that must be felt, but the good news is that the very beauty of it is this. Your sexuality will teach you in ways that a book or a thought could not, all because it is something you must feel. So remind yourself to graciously let your feelings speak while you seek to discover your sexuality, they want you to listen and if you do you’ll be a better person because of it. Feel everything!
” You have so much to give and one day you will learn to give it to the right people.” – Sue Zhao
This quote is a reminder that not everyone should be entitled to what we learn about ourselves as we discover our sexual identities. If someone reacts negatively to your journey know that the person who did that never deserved to see you on this path and that the right people will accept you no matter who you are and who you love. Not everyone deserves to know you but you will find the people who do, be patient, stay true and keep going. You will find them.
“Your name is a gift you can return if it doesn’t fit.” – Andrea Gibson
Andrea reminds us with this quote that our sexuality can sometimes make it clear that the name or the identity we’ve had in our lives up until this point needs to change. It will be a hard process but you can return that identity and forge a new one that matches your sexuality. You can reinvent yourself and you can match your outsides to your insides. Have fun creating yourself and find joy in sharing that with the world for the first time!
“If you want to know where your heart is, look to where your mind wanders.” – Unknown
The good news is that you already know the answer, if you look deep enough and get to know your heart and what it wants in such a way you will find your sexuality. This won’t be simple but you are completely capable of finding your truth. The answer has been living inside of you all this time.
“Once you learn how to accept everything, you have transcended. Then nothing disturbs, in fact nothing corrupts you then. You always remain like a lotus flower – in the water but untouched by it. You live in the world, but the world never lives in you.” – Osho
Like a lotus flower, with time, things will get easier and you will learn that your opinion of yourself is the only one that really matters. At first you may find yourself discouraged by the opinions people will have about your sexuality but this won’t always be the case. You don’t need to let the whole world in as long as you are living to the best of your ability. Put yourself first!
“How sweet the risks are” – Paul Valéry
Exploring your sexuality is definitely a risk but you’ll soon see that it is probably the sweetest risk you will ever take. So when you feel unsure remind yourself that you are worthy of love and that one day you will be glad that you did the work so you can live a great life. Your future self will thank you for this, if for no other reason do this so you can look back and be proud of the searching and all the growth you have done!
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