As we go through life, we collect memories and people that turn into friends that turn into best friends. You and your hometown best friend were planning to live your lives side-by-side throughout college, finding jobs, having families and living on the same street until you grow old. We all have this dream. But distance often comes in the way. As well as in romantic relationships, long-distance friendships are very common.
You chose colleges in different states or countries, or your partner moved to a different country, so you joined him/her. Having a best friend living in a different country leaves a mark on you, emotionally, logistically and financially. Though it is difficult, there are some ways to make it more bearable for you and your best friend.
My best friend for over 12 years now lives in Madrid, and I live in London. We went to the same high school for four years, then both of us transferred to a different high school. I went to a university in London, and she went to the Netherlands. After three years apart, we moved in together and had the best time for a year and a half. We tasted the life we could have together, and it was perfect.
You might think we are used to being apart and you never get used to it. A year ago my best friend moved to Madrid because of a job and to live with her boyfriend. It was real this time. No more university, no more holidays, it is real adult life now. The following tips help us stay in touch and keep us involved in each other’s lives.
Way before we used the internet and social media, every day after school my best friend and I spent hours on the phone talking. Then we moved onto the MSN messenger and Facebook and so on. This way we would never go long without talking to each other.
It became beneficial when we split ways, as staying in touch wasn’t hard at all, as we talked all the time. Even when we lived together we would get separation anxiety when we were in our bedrooms so we would text what’s new.
Now that we are apart again, nothing changed. We talk all the time. We record voice messages, and when something out of the ordinary happens, like a new crush, new job, we hop on a call and discuss everything.
For anyone in a long-distance friendship, I would recommend regular conversations. Pick a day in a week that works for both of you and commit to a phone or a Skype call. This way, even when you don’t talk daily, you know you have a set time you can count on.
Planning to see each other is where all the logistics and finance get in the way. Depending on how far you live from each other, but arranging trips in advance can be doable and affordable.
One time you can come to visit, and next time your best friend will come to your place. If there is a city in between you, plan a trip there. You are going away to a town that no one’s home, will help your friendship create new memories that are just yours.
Your best friend is essentially your plus one. Plys one to an event, to a party you don’t want to go, a plus one to your life. Your best friend is your movie buddy, concert buddy and someone to gossip with.
This common ground of music and movies will be an excuse to discuss it all. “Have you seen the new episode?” and the conversation will go for hours, or “Little Mix is coming to Madrid; should we go?”.
You do not have to live in the same house, or the same country, but the things you loved doing together can still be the thing that brings you closer to each other even when you’re thousands of miles away.
Even though it is not a romantic long-distance relationship treat it like one. Tell your best friend how you feel and what you feel. It is healthy for your friendship to be reminded of how much you are missed and how much you miss them.
Be supportive and celebratory about their accomplishments. Show how proud of you are of them. On special occasions like birthdays, send a card and flowers. Little things like this go further than you think, trust me. This way you can be still a part of their celebrations.
Do you also have a best friend that lives in a different state or a country? Tell them how much you love them. Now.
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