How To Forgive People Who Have Hurt You

It takes a strong person to forgive someone, but it's undeniably the best way of moving forwards with our lives. Here are some tips on how to forgive!

Some people find it difficult to forgive people, especially if they feel really hurt. Let’s be honest, we’re all going to be hurt many times in life – we’d be extremely lucky if we weren’t. However, after a few times of it happening you have to ask yourself whether it’s worth dwelling over or whether it would actually hurt you less if you tried to find a way to move on. Whether your ex brutally broke your heart or your friend turned their back on you when you needed them the most, here are some ways you can go about forgiving the people that have hurt you in the past…

1. First, Know What Forgiveness Actually Is

To forgive people doesn’t mean you have to accept that what they did was right. You’re not excusing what they did, you’re not implying that it’s OK – you’re simply just letting go. You don’t even have to tell the other person that they’re forgiven if you don’t want to, all you need to do is feel it inside of you (and I mean actually feel it) and that’s perfectly OK. My parents often say that they can forgive but not forget, and this seems to make a lot of sense to me; it’s completely fine if you still feel like someone is too toxic to remain in your life.

2. Choose To Forgive

This may seem really obvious, but you have to actually choose to forgive people if it’s going to be possible. If you’re too busy hating them for everything that they’ve done, they’re always going to be on your mind and you’re never going to be able to move on from what has happened. It really is empowering the day you decide that you have some control over the situation and how you feel, and while it does take a strong person to forgive, you’ll find yourself doing so in no time if you put your mind to it.

3. Don’t Be Afraid To Think About What Happened

Sure, you might want to be ready to forgive, but there’s a chance you still have to get all those emotions out. If you need to cry, get angry, scream into a pillow, write a journal, just do it – let it all out. If you need a bit of time to scroll through pictures of your ex and reflect on your memories together before deleting them, take it. If you need to think about all the ins and outs of your friendship with your friend and fully reflect on the point where things went sour, do it. Take all the time you need – there really is no rush to forgive someone.

4. Take Responsibility For Your Part

It’s likely that, as much as it’s easier to blame someone else, you played some part in things going wrong. You will have heard the phrase ‘it takes two to tango’, and while it’s probably not what you want to hear, it’s a pretty accurate statement. I understand that it can be painful if the other person doesn’t even realise they’ve done something wrong, but there is a chance they didn’t have cruel intentions. Everyone is human, everyone makes mistakes – just remind yourself of how much you would like forgiveness if you ever made a mistake. After all, we’re all guilty of hurting people at times.

5. Move On

Now that you’ve had the chance to reflect on your hurt, it’s time to move on. Focus fully on the present rather than living in the past, and don’t ever let anyone tell you that your feelings aren’t legitimate. We all feel emotional pain throughout our lives, and we all deal with it in different ways – just make sure that you be yourself and keep a positive mindset whenever you can.