After finishing a long-term relationship, starting all over is difficult. It’s not only missing that person and taking time to heal emotionally, but also open yourself to getting to know and date new people. When sex comes into the equation, things are even harder. Let’s be real, the mere fact of being naked means to be vulnerable, and also requires a certain degree of trust in your partner, even if it’s a one-night stand affair. Having sex with someone new, although exciting, can be scary and plain weird. And, since it varies for every person, there’s no set formula you can follow to make things less awkward, but there are definitely some steps you can follow to make the experience more enjoyable.
Not just clothes, but also your undies. Wear a fresh pair, something you feel comfortable wearing and, if you feel like, something sexy as lingerie. This will make you feel confident and also desirable. You can use those long-forgotten bralettes or panties you bought a long time ago but hadn’t had the chance to use.
Self-confidence is always sexy. Start with the right foot and groom yourself so you can feel hot, beautiful and confident. This won’t pass unnoticed by your partner and will lead to a rewarding sexy session.
Don’t rush things. When having sex with someone new, there’s this pressure of getting everything right. But try to slow down. Making out is perfect for setting the mood and helping you and your partner to relax. Sometimes you might be tempted to go for a quickie, but it’s nice to have a long make-out session followed by hot foreplay.
Don’t be afraid to speak up. If you think things are moving too fast or if what your partner is doing doesn’t feel right, say so. If they’re doing something you are really into, say so as well. Remember you are there to have a good time, and sometimes silence can jeopardise that.
Nothing makes things weirder than bringing exes into the conversation. Maybe you are just trying to let them know what works sexually for your and a certain name slips out, but you should try to avoid that. Just put yourself in the shoes of that person; you wouldn’t want to be compared to somebody else. It’s a punch to self-esteem and confidence and a total turn-off.
The last thing you want when you’re about to have sex is to be stressed out. It’s not an exam, it’s not a driving test; it’s all about enjoying yourself and your partner. Do whatever relaxes you before the meeting, do some yoga, listen to music, watch Netflix or anything that takes your mind off it. If it’s a totally spontaneous hook-up, the best thing to do is to take deep breaths and remember the person in front of you might be as nervous as you are. You can also tell your partner to stop, and they should understand. If not, be ready to say bye.
An obvious one and probably something a parent would say to their teenage child, but it doesn’t mean it is less important. Always bring protection with you, don’t rely on your partner to bring protection. And, if none of you is prepared, the best thing is to delay sex for later, no matter how much of a turn-off the idea is.
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