What To Do If You Hate Your Best Friend’s Boyfriend

So…Your best friend has got a boyfriend..

They’re gleefully happy and of course you want to be happy for them; but there’s something about this new partner- you hate them.  It happens, boyfriends and girlfriends of loved ones are always tricky situations. If this friend is usually single, then there is usually going to be a sense of jealously or a feeling that you’re losing them. If they are a serial dater then you might feel protective of them, having seen them get hurt so many times in the past. Hate is a strong word, but sometimes- you just hate your best friend’s boyfriend.

The first bit of advice I can offer is to not say anything if you’re acting on other people’s information or shallow reasons.

So you hate your best friend’s boyfriend? Well you’re still her best friend and should be her first port of call if anything goes wrong; you don’t want to jeopardise your relationship with her. The only times to say anything is if you are worried about her, or their relationship. If they are fighting more than they are smiling or if learn something (with factual evidence) that could end up hurting her; this could include him having other relationships or dealing with addiction or other big issues.

By staying quiet, you might be saving face.

You could be creating a rift between yourself and your friend. By not doing anything you are just continuing to hate him and through that could then be endangering your friendship. Maybe you don’t hang out with her if she’s with him or you are a bit quieter. These little gestures could cause internal conflicts for your friend.

Another piece of advice I can give is to give him a chance, maybe go down the pub with him and your best friend or even just him alone and talk to him.

So what do you do if you hate your best friend’s boyfriend? Hang out with him. This may seem crazy, but you might discover why your friend likes him, or you might even find things you really like about him. First impressions are usually quite sticking and more often than not, wrong. By giving him the benefit of the doubt you’ll show your friend how much you care and how willing you are to try and get to know him for her.

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If this doesn’t work and you decide to talk to her, you need to be nice and calm. You can’t go up to her guns blazing and expect her to respond well.

You need to know what your going to say, and hopefully have an understanding of how she is going to respond. This kind of conversation is tricky, and you might accidentally upset her if you say the wrong thing.

It is her choice after all, you need to understand what and where your feelings are for her and for her relationship. Not everyone is going to get along, but hopefully you can go from feeling like you hate your best friend’s boyfriend, to maybe even getting along with him. Good luck!

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