School

There’s A Huge Difference Between Love And Infatuation

We’ve all been there, we’ve all felt the dread of having to say the ‘L’ word for the first time. No, the ‘L’ word is not a swear word, but it in fact refers to the word ‘love’. Many couples experience anxiety when confessing their love for one another for the first time and that’s completely normal. Questions buzz through their minds such as: how long do I have to wait to say I love my partner? What if they do not feel the same way as me? Should I wait for my partner to say they love me first? But most importantly, how do I know that I am actually in love? This last question is very important because it is possible to confuse love with infatuation; but don’t worry, below is a list of a few pointers to help you distinguish the HUGE difference between love and infatuation:

  1. Intensity and Reality.

Love is a deep affection for someone and includes an emotional and intellectual connection. Love can increase over time to create a stable and secure foundation in which partners accept one another’s flaws and see each other for who they really are. Yet Infatuation is an intense, almost obsessive passion for someone; it can be all consuming and blind a person to reality. For example, when someone is infatuated with a person, they usually idealise that person and place them on a pedestal; that person takes over their brain and becomes the only thing they can think about and the only thing they talk about.

   2.  Duration.

Love is typically something that occurs in a long-term and established relationship. When the ‘L’ word is said between partners, it is usually the first sign of commitment. It is a mutual recognition of your feelings for one another and generally stands the test of time. However, infatuation is a short-lived version of love that does not last long. Think of infatuation in terms of fashion- what trend might be in this week will be old news by next week and this is exactly what happens with infatuation. You might develop deep feelings for someone on Monday, but by Friday in all likelihood, the intensity of your feelings will be much weaker and you find yourself beginning to window shop elsewhere! Ultimately, you feel you can’t live without someone you love, but you can live without someone you are infatuated with.

 3. Identity

With love, your identity should still stay intact. Over time, you might change and evolve to become similar to your partner as you grow together. But ultimately, you should be completely comfortable and true to yourself around the person you love. It is possible that someone with an infatuation might ignore obvious signs of incompatibility and mould themselves to become similar to the person they are infatuated with. When they are around the object of their desire, they act differently and are constantly trying to impress them.

See Also
It's hard to leave behind people you love when you go to uni. Well, maybe you shouldn't. Here's why you should go to uni with your high school sweetheart.

4. Reciprocation.

There are different types of love. But let’s stick to romantic relationships for now. Romantic love is directed towards the person you might be seeing before getting into a relationship, or someone that you are in a relationship with. All relationships happen at different stages, but love is nevertheless directed towards someone you are romantically involved with and your love is reciprocated by your partner in turn. Infatuation on the other hand, is a short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something and does not have to be reciprocated. For example, you can become infatuated with a band or a celebrity and think you ‘love’ them despite the fact they might not even know you exist! Therefore, infatuation is usually a sign of immaturity but love occurs as you get older and more accustomed to listening to your own feelings and the feelings of those around you.

What do you think the difference between love and infatuation is? Let us know in the comments section below.
Nicole Brownfield

My name is Nicole Brownfield and I am 20 years old. I am studying English Literature and going into my 3rd and final year of Queen Mary University, London in September. I am currently the Editor-In-chief of my University magazine 'CUB' and my dream is to pursue a career in journalism after I graduate. I love living in London and am obsessed with sourcing out food and drink places, as well as exploring the parts of London I have never been to before. My boyfriend and I have recently turned pescatarian and this symbolises my goal to constantly keep bettering myself and to stay healthy and disciplined. Every day I try and achieve something as I want to look back and be proud of the life I have lived, and to make my family proud too.

Recent Posts

10 Fashion Tips To Slay The Vinyl Look

Vinyl became quite quickly the biggest trend this season - especially vinyl outerwear such as trench coats, jackets... Made out…

2 hours ago

5 Celebrity Makeup Lines You May Be Surprised To See

I love makeup. I always send my sister Instagram posts of new releases, to which she replies with a tired…

4 hours ago

6 Dos And Don’ts When You’re On A Night Out

A night out with your friends is a great opportunity to bond, make some memories, and most importantly, dance the…

6 hours ago

These Are The 10 Best Universities For Student Life

For a lot of people going to uni, thinking about their up and coming student life is one of the…

8 hours ago

12 Last Minute Father’s Day Gifts To Get Before The Big Day

We are approaching that time of the year again in which we celebrate the love and dedication of the most…

14 hours ago

Why Going Back To School Isn’t Actually THAT Bad

There's nothing quite so bad as the dark cloud that comes with the end of the holidays. Soon, people will…

16 hours ago