Children? No Thanks, I’ll Stick To A Dog

It’s that age old question isn’t it? Do you want kids? For some that’s the ultimate dream, to have their own offspring; running around on their freshly trimmed lawn with a white picket fence. However for others such as myself I couldn’t think of anything worse.

In fact, aside from my little brothers and nephew I try to avoid children.

Fair enough they’re sweet and cute but just like a paracetamol you pop the morning after a night out, the high will fade and you’ll soon come crashing down to a world of unnecessary screaming and literal shit everywhere.

Don’t get me wrong, the idea of having a little mini-me for whom I’d definitely be the “cool mom” to is quite an amusing thought.

I could dress the mini-me in all the latest trends, oh how cute! However, having a little human that you need to care for at least for 18 years is it not such a good thought. I guess with a child comes a whole lot of responsibility and how can someone who still religiously plays online dress up games be a responsible *gulp* parent?!

I’m a 21 year old gay man and there still seems to be such an emphasis on having children.

The LGBTQ community has come such a long way, on a tiresome albeit fulfilling journey to the right of equality. There are so many options for same sex couples now to have children, whether that’s through adoption, surrogacy or insemination which is obviously a fantastic thing but for me personally I can’t quite comprehend why we, even as individuals stripped away of labels, are expected to reproduce and have children?

I can’t even think of how frustrating it must be to women to get bombarded with the ridiculous questions of “when’s the baby coming then!?”

Throughout time there has been a massive lie floating around in the air that women are built with a maternal instinct and this innate feeling and longing to be a mother. It can be said there a few reasons why women are actively choosing not to have children. For some it’s a matter of being environmentally friendly (a recent study stated reproduction was one of the most dangerous things we can do the planet), for others it just comes down to the fact they’re focused on their career and for the some it’s simply they don’t want to conform to the expectations of being a woman. Women are constantly reminded that motherhood is the hardest job ever yet they are vilified for saying they don’t want it?

I’ve been in a relationship for just coming four years now and not once have either of us expressed our desire to have children.

We’ve expressed our desire to have dogs, but no children. I mean, imagine coming home from a long and tiresome day at work to find a gorgeous little dog wagging its tail and flapping it’s tongue, how picturesque! However what if that same dog was instead a crying baby with the incapability of telling you what exactly is wrong with them causing stress and screaming (and that’s just from you.) It’s funny because people say, “oh wait until there’s a little Joey running about.” As if that’s the only logical thing to achieve. Well why can’t it just be Joey and Jack? (Plus our pug called Patsy and our Dalmatian called Olive)

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I asked both of my parents why they decided to have children and both gave me the exact same answer.

“It was what you did back in the day. You got married then had children.” You could argue that their generation was a lot more shut up and carry on with it. Awful marriage? Shut up and carry on with it. Loathe your job? Shut up and carry on with it. It was a time where thinking of yourself was frowned upon; the more of yourself you sacrificed the more you were appreciated. It was shameful to leave a bad marriage, you were seen as weak, inconsiderate and disloyal. Now it’s shameful to stay. In that (bizarre) world children made sense, but this is a new era. Our generation puts ourselves first, we are more self-aware.

Queen Beyoncé once said in her banger of a track, Formation, “I work hard, I grind it till’ I own it, cause I slay, all day.”

It’s a message we should all live by (I may or may not chant in to myself every morning in front of the mirror…) It’s about what YOU want to do with your life. For some that may entail children, but for me I think I’ll stick to my online dress up games.

How do you feel about having children? Is it something you want in the future? Or are you intending to live a child-free life? Let us know in the comments!