An Open Letter to My Curly Hair

To the curly hair demon that resides on the top of my head, do you hate me? Because it really feels like you do.

Dear Curly Hair Demon,

To The Curly Hair Demon that resides in a nest on the top of my head,

Do you hate me? I mean, seriously, it’s not like we’ve always seen eye to eye or brush to brush, but is there actually any real reason you’re so volatile and unforgiving?

I’m Sorry I Burn You And Try To Change You

I get it. You’re mad. You want to be appreciated for what you are. And that is powerful, fierce and strong minded.

But Don’t You See You Can Be A Bit Of A Bitch?

Maybe I wouldn’t be trying to reign you in so much if you weren’t so wild. Do you ever think about that? Do you? Because I do. Some days I wake up and I look like Julia Roberts with a perm and I love you. And I tell you I love you too, only for you to go and let me wake up the next day looking like Edward Scissorhands.

Ever Heard Of A Thing Called Consistency?

It’s hard, and I don’t like change. Especially when it’s not in my control and regards my daily appearance. I think people, myself included, would appreciate your versatility a lot more if you didn’t demonstrate it so often.

I’m Sorry I Complain About You All The Time

I know it can be a drag. I hate people that complain all the time too.

Is That Why You Do It?

Are you punishing me for not being grateful enough?

Because I Do Get It, People Would Kill To Have You

And I hate it because all I want is their hair. Those girls with the long, shiny (but never greasy), perfectly straight cuts who tell me how lucky I am, how beautiful you are and how crazy bad they want you. Don’t they see me? The put upon girl underneath that shape-shifting crow’s nest? Little do these people know how you rule my life and dictate how every single day is going to go for me.

Sometimes I Feel Like It’s All About You

You dictate everything. You take all the glory. You take all the humidity out the air and put it on my head. It’s always me, me doing what you want.

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Do You Not Remember The Times We Were A Power Couple?

Do you remember how we used to work together so effortlessly? Back when we were young and our ringlets were perfect, bouncy and sleek? What happened? Was it puberty? I’ve told you so many times you have to stop blaming me for that.

Let’s Try And Remember Those Days A Little More, Hey?

If I make the effort does that mean you will too? I promise I’ll throw away all conventional hair brushes and only ever use a comb. I promise to straighten you less and to stop telling others that I wish you were different. I’ll use whatever products you want, providing they’re within a £7 price range and I promise that I’ll never ever look at another person’s hair with envy again… you just have to work with me, okay?

So I Guess I’m Just A Girl, Standing In Front Of A Mirror, Asking You To Forgive Her

It’s not easy to ask for forgiveness, but it’s even harder to carry on like this. For either of us. We need each other. And let’s face it, even though you hold all the power, you could still do with my help.