Whether you’re a current, past, or future student, you will definitely appreciate these 21 signs you go to the University of Warwick!
Telling your friends from home about the night you drank four pints of purple on the hour every hour, you know their response will be, “wait a sec… what’s purple?”
Because no one wants to say they’re in Coventry.
But you’re over it now, right?
Unless it was made by your flatmate Jim who buys his alcohol from the reduced isle at Tesco, after refusing to share a pitcher of Eliminator from Kelsey’s, you should know that you shouldn’t reject a drink just because it doesn’t look very appetizing. Vodka squash gets a bit dull after term one anyway…
With their calendar being the first thing you see when you wake up and the last thing before you go to sleep, this is surely understandable…
As if the vast number of posters which now form a quilt over the library building wasn’t enough, you can expect at least a dozen flyers of political content and overused clipart to be enforced upon you and your only forms of defense will be your Warwick hoodie and oversized gym bag.
When considering that half the population of campus is made up of birds, it’s really not that shocking. It’s only a matter of time before they commence war on first years.
As much as the constant feeling of overvalued superiority is always appreciated, and the occasional drunken conflicts at Kasbah are rather amusing, exactly how many times do these overused jokes need to be posted onto YikYak?
Because what could be more fun than sexualising the formerly enforced daily attire of your pre-adolescent self twice termly?
Unless you commit to tightly laced trainers, you can expect to have a collection of ‘only left shoes’ by the end of your degree (or until they figure out how to reduce the adhesive behaviour of the SU floors)
And there will be more rumours surrounding their origin and symbolic meaning than you have CATS for this year.
Or at least you think you do.
As if the number of warning notices covering your doors and halls of residence wasn’t enough, there are always the victims of ‘the unlocked doors’ who leave their rooms unattended and return to find all their possessions have been temporarily moved or absolutely everything and anything has been placed inside of it.
This is all part of the ever increasing prestige of the Warwick Maths department where research has shown that as well as being a shape, a circle is also a form of peer pressure that is generally accepted as a social activity. This concept is only understood by students of the University of Warwick and documented evidence will resort in punishment.
You proceeded to lose said “love of your life” while swinging along to Cotton Eye Joe, and alone you continue to enjoy the same old songs that play each week, although with the vast proportion of your bloodstream consisting of purple, you probably haven’t realised you’ve been belting out Come On Eileen without fail every week in the early hours of a Thursday morning since week 1 of your first year.
Online shopping isn’t as accessible as you’d like it to be, especially when you need a packed lunch, a valid visa, and a motivational Spotify playlist to get to the post room. Oh, and don’t forget your uni ID!
The sound of French resonates across campus, be that in lectures or at the grocery store, and if you foolishly try pulling an all-nighter at the library in term three, there is a high possibility that your half-conscious self will start to believe that they are ordering baguettes in Paris. When the constant chatter gets too much and you’re trying to get some work done you resort to Yakking about the noise disruptions because your A* in GCSE French has obviously expired so friendly communication is a no go.
And there is always one person who never fails to set it off.
Surely there isn’t a better way to start your night than with a 15 minute intoxicated journey trying to hold back vomit while partaking in recursive football chants.
That sweet and calming mix of reversing Tesco delivery vans, bird mating calls, and the occasional ice-cream van. Nothing beats it.
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