Before you decide to live with them, it is so important to get to know your (potential) flatmate. If you have already decided on a flatmate and forgot to ask them these questions, don’t worry! You can still bring them up now if you feel it is necessary. Living with someone else in such close quarters is difficult enough. Try to understand where they are coming from to make life living together easier. Here are 20 questions to ask your flatmate.
The key to this, especially with random flatmates, is honesty. A lot of people don’t want to admit that they’re messy, but it’s okay to be messy! But you definitely don’t want a flatmate that says they’re going to be clean and then after a few weeks realise that you can’t even see their side of the room and you have to apologise for the mess when guests come over! Make sure you are honest and up front with them!
It’s always good to start off with an easy topic that anyone can relate to. When you both like the same artist it can make for exciting and fun dance sessions in your room and help start a friendship.
Nothing can turn more passive aggressive than the thermostat battle. If you like the room cool, it’s horrible to wake up in the middle of the night sweating profusely. So the best thing to do in this situation is set up a temperature you both agree on in the room.
This goes hand in hand with the one above. The last thing you want is no time to the room by yourself, so setting up a schedule for times to be alone in the room is a must.
Not knowing this can cause a lot of tension between you and your future flatmate. If you are an introvert you may expect to be in the room alone quite a bit and if your flatmate is an extrovert there may always be people in your room, depriving you of your alone time. Even if you are both introverts there can be issues when wanting alone time.
You wouldn’t want to leave your peanut butter jar out in the open if your flatmate is a few feet away and severely allergic! It seems trivial, but these little questions help your flatmate know you care about creating a positive environment to live in.
Is it okay for your flatmate to eat your snacks or drink your coffee? What about sharing clothes?
Do you go out, stay in, or do they expect to hang out with you? Do they work late hours? Make sure you both have a clear idea of each other’s expectations.
Maybe having boyfriends in the room isn’t okay with you or your flatmate. Will they allow partying, drinking, or drugs in the room? Some of these things may be intolerable for them or you, make sure you set rules on what you will or won’t have in the room.
You always want to make sure that things are split up evenly, it’s no fun to be doing all of the cleaning in the room. And surely your flatmate doesn’t want to be doing the same.
What are your flatmate’s ideas of privacy, is it okay to be in the room when you’re Skyping or talking on the phone or is it not?
You forget to clean out the coffee pot… again. Sure it may be due to the fact that you’re late to class, but you can’t go on without your coffee. How will your flatmate remind you that you need to clean it or that you should leave more time to prepare in the morning? Will they leave the dreaded sticky notes or will they tell you? Know each other’s communication styles so you don’t get more upset when the situation could be avoided.
It’s always uncomfortable when you are face to face with your flatmate’s mom in the middle of the week right after class. So guest expectations are important to set up, especially letting them know how many people and when they’re coming over.
Pretty sure you don’t want to walk in on your flatmate and their significant other hitting it off one night. And vice versa, quite awkward for both parties! So the best way to avoid this is to set up boundaries or a communication system of when they can have their alone time (A simple text message works or if you have a whiteboard maybe draw a symbol to let the other know!)
Does your flatmate like to stay up late with the lights on, or do they go to bed at 7:00 PM? It can get annoying to have someone waking you up when you’re asleep or you having to tiptoe into the room by the light of your flashlight, trying to get ready for bed or find whatever you’re looking for.
This is a bit simpler, who is going to bring the microwave, the fridge, the futon, or maybe extra lamps? Is it a necessity that you spread out the major purchases or will one person cover more?
Can they play music late at night or while you’re studying? If you’re asleep can they turn on the lights or do they need to use a dim light?
What someone is studying says a lot about who they are as a person, their passions, interests, and goals. Asking your flatmate this will help you get a better sense of understanding their personality. Who knows, you may even be able to bond over it!
Having a coordinating room is aesthetically pleasing and can be much more relaxing to come home to after a long day of classes. Although this isn’t necessary, it can make the room much more inviting.
If you don’t smoke or vape and your flatmate does, setting boundaries on where they can smoke it essential because you definitely don’t want to walk into the room and have everything smell like tobacco (or something else).
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