Categories: Love Life

7 Tips For Good Communication In A Relationship

I came across an article by Robert Leahy about good communication in a relationship. After a lengthy introduction, it gets to the points: Pick the Right Time, Edit it Down, Pause and Ask for Feedback, Don’t Catastrophize, Don’t Attack, Tell Your Partner if You Want to Solve Problems or If You Want to Share Feelings, Listening Is Not Agreeing, Respect Advice, If You Describe a Problem, Describe a Solution, and Validate the Validator. I agree with some points and the others, well…let’s talk about it…

1. Pick The Right Time

The author says that “sometimes you think you need to be heard the minute you have a thought or feeling.” I’m guilty of this. When I get emotional that’s when I want to vent to him the most. It’s because that’s the time, aside from being drunk, where I have the courage to spit it all out. They don’t say “a drunk tongue speaks a sober mind” for nothin’. However, being under the influence of anything may make a person less likely to believe or listen to anything you’re saying.

2. Edit It Down

“Edit down and limit your comment to relatively clear and short sentences.” Nobody’s got the time to do that. There’s being calm and thinking rationally but dissecting it up like that is a little much. This isn’t a research paper.

3. Pause and Ask For Feedback

You should always do this. People have a tendency to run on and forget there’s another person there with thoughts and emotions. You should never go on and on without asking the other person how they feel about what you just said. Even Siri has to talk at some point.

4. Validate the Validator

I try to follow this as much as possible. If someone is advising you, supporting you, or just listening, don’t forget to say thank you. What we fail to realize is everyone goes through things. We aren’t the center of the world even when we’re in crisis mode. Venting about your stresses to another person just adds onto their plate.

I always tell him thank you, especially after I’ve vented. I go through so much crap and throw it on him and he just takes it. Thank you to me just means “I appreciate you listening and taking my crap.”

5. Listening Is Not Agreeing

Just because your partner is willing to hear you out doesn’t mean they’re agreeing with what you say. Listening is simply an agreement to try to understand where you are coming from. You need to realize that we all have different opinions on various things. We are not going to agree every single time you voice your feelings to me.

See Also

6. Don’t Attack

This is vey self-explanatory. Think about it, if someone was talking with you and called you an idiot would you still be receptive to what they’re saying? Insulting someone is the quickest way to make your partner shut down and to make the situation ten times worse. Good communication requires patience, understanding, and most importantly respect.

7. If You Describe a Problem, Describe a Solution

This isn’t as difficult as it might sound. But, it does take some time beforehand to think about. If there’s a certain problem you want to address, you should come up with a solution. If you vent about something you want a resolution which makes so much sense, but sometimes, you have to be the one to present it.

In Conclusion

It’s pretty clear for for good communication between partners: Listen Really Consider Their Point of View, and Be Nice.

What are some good communication tips you’d like to add? Let us know in the comments below!
Featured Image Source: https://www.scarymommy.com/ridiculous-couple-arguments/
Kursteen Lundy

Recent Posts

Workout Clothes: How to Pick the Best Fitness Apparel

We all know how important it is to lead an active lifestyle, but if you're like most of us, you…

2 hours ago

20 Things No One Tells You About Freshman Year At Syracuse University

1. No air conditioning. We may be one of the snowiest cities in America, but it doesn’t always feel like…

6 hours ago

What Exactly Happens During Sorority Recruitment At James Madison University

So you're thinking of rushing a sorority at JMU. Beginning your college years at a large school like James Madison University can…

9 hours ago

10 Adorable Gameday Outfits at San Jose State

Shout out to all my ladies, who attend SJSU sporting events looking their best! Gamedays absolutely make your college experience,…

13 hours ago

The Ultimate Ranking Of High Point University Freshman Dorms

High Point University is known for its amazingly beautiful campus but, have you ever taken a moment to look at…

17 hours ago

10 Adorable Gameday Outfits at University of New Hampshire

We all get that subtle desperation to look cute at our school sports games. Although you may be more than…

1 day ago