For anyone that has never been to Jacksonville Beach, I recommend you make the trip out. For those that grew up in Jacksonville Beach you will be nodding your head in agreement to the unusual stuff that goes down. Regardless, this small beachy town has a list of quirks that always keep it interesting.
As common as it is to live in Florida, it’s easy to hate when tourists invade your territory. Those that live beach-side, hate the “townies” that come from the city of Jacksonville. There is a fine line that separates Jacksonville from Jacksonville Beach. Once you cross it, you are in enemy territory. The hatred of the townies is so intense that there are bumper stickers and beach access signs spray-painted with “Townies Go Home.” In 2013, police even arrested two people responsible for posting dozens of stickers with this message. Kind of funny, kind of uncool.
Sometimes it may feel like the class size looks smaller one day at the local high schools (particularly Fletcher High School if you know what I’m saying). That’s because it is! If the waves are firing, the surfers are out. Rain or shine, school or no school, when the surf gods have blessed you with offshore winds and clean waves, you take advantage of it. Go on folks, and shred the gnar always.
You know you grew up in Jacksonville Beach if you’ve met or seen Black Bortles. If you ever feel you have anything to say to the Jaguars quarterback, just head out to the bars in Jax Beach on the weekend. Apparently, he is spotted all across the strip of bars, even during football season. While a lot Jags fans are angered by his partying, you have to admit, it gives them a fair opportunity to find him and tell him so. #PoppingBortles
Recently in an interview with Void, a local magazine, he claimed he is taking football more seriously, and is done thoroughly partaking in Jax Beach nightlife. Only time will tell.
If you live beachside, you will be nodding along to this one. It is very common to see cars backed up along A1A, the well-known highway that curves its way right along the east coast. While all of these drivers are sitting in traffic and searching for a place to park, anybody on a bike just cruises by, watching the struggle. It is so easy to lock a bike up on the boardwalk, and you do not have to worry about the over-the-top cops who love to hand out parking tickets in Jacksonville Beach.
Also, in order to avoid DUIs, everyone hops on their beach cruiser on the 4th of July. If you grew up in Jacksonville Beach, your bike is your go-to this time of year. It has resulted in closing down all main roads to allow for bike traffic, easily the busiest time of the year for biking around Jax Beach. People pretty much just throw open parties on their front lawns and random people that bike by go in. Definitely fun and definitely sketchy.
While a lot of fathers will freak out about their sons unruly hair, the long-hair-don’t-care attitude is seriously taking over Jacksonville Beach. With such a hefty surfer population, the man bun is all too common. It can even be misleading to see a man with long hair surfing in a wetsuit and mistake him for a woman. You also have the little groms that run into the water with their surfboards and long blonde hair, ready to take on the surfer legacy from the get-go.
It has become quite normal to see millennials taking pictures left and right specifically for their social media, but Jacksonville Beach might take the cake. While it’s known for being a tourist-free beach, a lot of young women who grew up in Jacksonville Beach make it look like it is the best place you have never been. It is easy to pose in a bikini when the beach is your backyard. However, the insta-famous attempt here is quite humorous because Jacksonville Beach still goes through all four seasons quite regularly. Watching girls do seductive poses during their photo shoots on the beach in 45 degrees is extremely comical.
If you come to Florida and hear about an approaching hurricane, you may panic and immediately look at a departure flight home. But if you grew up in Jacksonville Beach, the panic is replaced with a PARTY. Usually, there are millions of people watching the weather channel during this time. But in Jax Beach, a serious storm becomes an excuse to get out of work and school. People will board up their windows and hunker down with cases of beer. The whole time the hurricane lasts is an excuse to get drunk and enjoy your freedom. Party on.
Everyone gets used to a couple creepy guys at the gym or an attractive man that never wants to settle down, but there are just a number of men that buy a bachelor pad near the beach and grow old. You can easily point these guys out because they are on the beach every single day as the tannest humans ever and just stare at all the women. Not only are they too old to be chasing down much younger ladies, but most of them have been single for so long, they are actually terrible at talking to girls. You will see tons of college kids partying and drinking at the beach bars, but scattered about are these old men, all alone. If you ever visit Jax Beach and see some super tan men with gray hair running about, stay far away.
If you grew up in Jacksonville Beach, you know Green Room is by far the most “local” of all local bars in Jax Beach. Anyone who grew up in Jacksonville Beach and is over 21 has been in there. Strangely enough, this bar is known by everyone just for random happenings. There is a lady who comes and plays ping pong in the back with her own paddles and ping pong balls. She is very intense, and a lot of people have heard of her.
There are dogs everywhere, the reasoning behind why there are also dog treats and water bowls scattered throughout the bar. Green Room is one of the only bars that allows dogs inside so it is pretty exciting to go in and pat a puppy. A lot of people are also enthusiastic about a beer they offer called “Sacksonville” to glorify the Jacksonville Jaguars and their number of sacks this football season. Green Room is the best random place to be.
For the places where marijuana is legal, this may be normal. Marijuana is not legal in Jax Beach but you would honestly think it is with the amount of people smoking pot. You can bike along the town’s beachy streets and you will catch whiffs of weed every now and then along your route. You can even post up on the beach, but the person a couple feet away can be smoking. A lot of people that even work in desk jobs will smoke weed in their car on their lunch break. If you grew up in Jacksonville Beach, you know it’s simply a very marijuana-friendly beach town.
While bar fights are totally common, it seems unusual to host a wrestling event…at a bar. Well, Ritz does just that. Ritz Bar & Lounge has local “Pro Wrestling” events, in which they set up a rink and bring in some of these local wrestlers. Basically, a lot of personal trainers just make up wrestling names and they go in the rink. It is humorous because Ritz thinks this will boost their attendance, and surprisingly, it works. People will come and buy drinks as they continue to spectate and continue to get drunk. Nice creativity, Ritz.
When you mention surfing in Jacksonville Beach to Californians or Hawaiians, they usually reply with “I didn’t even know there are waves there.” Regardless of the size of our tiny waves, the passion for surfing is huge. But on a similar scale, the passion for making fun of people that cannot surf is equally just as present.
The best account to follow is @KookoftheDay on Instagram, which literally targets people that are attempting to learn to surf. Jax Beach decided to make a mock account called @KookoftheDayJax, constantly on the hunt for new surfers in Jacksonville. While it is great advice to follow your heart and learn something new, definitely pick an isolated spot in Jax Beach if you want to surf. Or else you run the risk of getting slammed by a wave and it being recorded on social media for all to see. For those that do like a good chuckle laughing at others, check out the account because it sheds no mercy.
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