Moving in with your partner is an exciting time – but it is also a massive change. How can you be sure you are ready? Here are eight things to consider before moving in with your partner.
If you are talking about moving in, you have likely been together a while. The question you have to ask is: how much time have you spent with them in one go? Have you gone on a long holiday together? Have you only ever spent a few days in their company? Living with someone is completely different from crashing at their house from time to time. Be sure you know what you are getting into.
If you wake up at 7:00 am every morning for work and they come home from their job at 3:00 am, this will not work. Your sleep will be constantly disturbed and you will be exhausted. If your schedules do not match up well, think about whether it is worth moving in together. How often will you actually see each other anyway?
If you are living together, you will be paying the bills together. How in control of their finances are they? If the answer is ‘not at all’, do not move in with them. You need a roommate who can help provide for the home. They do not have to be rolling in dough, but they do need to contribute. Make sure that they know you will be expecting them to budget in the same way you do.
If you have always lived in a tidy, organised environment, moving in with someone who leaves their wet towel on the bathroom floor and their dirty dishes piled in the sink will very quickly frustrate you. If they are a bit untidy, make it clear to them that this needs to change when you move in together. The last thing you want is to become your partner’s maid.
You may have had plenty of arguments before, but that was when you lived apart. When you live together, you cannot simply ignore their texts or refuse to see them. They will be there whether you like it or not. Ask yourself how you will cope in this situation. What will be the protocol for dealing with fallouts?
Whether you are moving into your own apartment, their apartment, or a completely new place, think about how much space you will both need. Do you love to binge your favourite TV shows? What will happen when you only have one TV and they are using it to play Xbox? Do you need a room to study or work away from them? What about your belongings? Can you fit everything in? Think about how you will factor another person and everything that comes with them into your home.
Long gone are the days when living with a partner was something you only did once you were married. Nowadays, it is perfectly acceptable for your flatmate to be your significant other. Even so, it is good to discuss your future plans before you move in. Is this a forever relationship? Are you going to stay in this house for the rest of your lives or will you save up for somewhere bigger? These are the questions you should be asking yourself.
Nobody wants to imagine their relationship failing, but it is a risk you have to factor into a decision like this. If you break up, what happens to the house? Who will stay and who will go? What if you cannot afford a place of your own? Do you have somewhere to go in that situation? Who gets the massage chair? Make sure you sort this out before moving in together. Also, think carefully about whose name goes on the title deeds if you buy a place together.
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