10 Things That Will 100 Percent Happen To You At UCLA

Consider yourself lucky to experience these 10 questionably great things about our school. Here are things that will happen to you at UCLA, 100 percent.

Ever wondered why our school is the most applied to college in the nation? Nope, you probably haven’t. You know the reason, it’s because it’s dope. At UCLA there’s something for everyone! And some things, whether you like it or not, will happen to everyone. We pride ourselves on being a very diverse campus so wherever you come from, whoever you are, consider yourself lucky to experience these 10 questionably great things about our school. Here are things that will happen to you at UCLA, 100 percent.

1. You will meet approximately 40,000 students from “the Bay Area” which seemingly extends from the borders of Oregon to Mexico.

Let’s do an experiment right now. Ask the person sitting next to you where they’re from. They said “the Bay Area” didn’t they? Ask them where specifically they are from. They said “ok, maybe a little outside the Bay Area, ok, Fresno”.

2. You will have a traumatic encounter with a squirrel.

The squirrels at UCLA are arrogant AF. One time the little devil critter jumped up onto my backpack. I just let it have it. There’s nothing I value in there more than my life.

3. You will see PDA in an omelet line.

I don’t know if it’s the sensual vibes of De Neve on a Sunday morning or the fact that they’ll be eating magic in the form of an omelet in a few minutes but something gets omelet line couples going. I’m happy you’re in love but maybe save the touching and grabbing until you’re not also squished up to other students trying to pass the time in the omelet line in peace.

4. You will call weeks 3-9 “midterm week” and there will be nothing incorrect about that statement.

The quarter system gets real, real fast. You will have 1-3 midterms in most of your classes. So go ahead, call it like you see it. Just hold on and wait for sweet midterm relief during finals week.

5. You will either have 75 swipes left at the end of the quarter or 2 in the middle of week. There is no in between.

19P is the college equivalent of rollin in it. Sometimes I ask myself, “do people like me for me, or for my 19P?”. It’s okay freshmen, we all get a little cocky with our swipes sometimes. On the other hand, you may be too cool to eat with the rest of us in the dining halls and prefer the more exquisite cuisine of BJ’s or Barney’s. In that case, 11R may be the choice for you.

6. You will see someone learning skateboarding for the first time on Bruin Walk.

I’m going to hit you with a rock solid rule of thumb. If you do not know how to skateboard, do not learn how to on an incredibly steep and bumpy hill with more students than Diddy on a Friday night, all of whom have headphones in. You’ll get to class soon enough if you walk. Hell, even run.

7. You will hear “AHHH, 1, 2, 3, 4…” and join in an 8-clap for whatever reason it has begun.

U-C-L-A fight fight fight, amirite?

8. You will see a famous person on campus and not know what to do about it.

One time I introduced myself with my full name to Kylie Jenner. She said she left her Bentley running and walked away.

9. You’ll spend the night in the twin XL with someone else and realize life may be better if you were alone.

Cuddling is fun. Cuddling is great. Spooning takes on a new meaning when it’s purely to work out the geometry of two adult-sized people on a kid-sized bed.

10. You will find yourself running to Powell in your underwear in the middle of the night during finals week.

Or at least someone tried to make you. You are more than likely intoxicated and you think you can hang with the track team out there in your undies. Run your heart out my friend, you look great and I bet you feel great too.