There are lots of reasons why every university and college is amazing. The common one on each campus is that you’re finally FREE from your parents, siblings, and high school drama. There are also thinks that just plain suck at every university as well, that no one can deny, no matter how much school spirit they have. Here are the 10 things that totally suck at the University of Cincinnati.
You’re probably thinking, “what sucks about getting a new and updated building?”. Well, when University of Cincinnati decides to build a new building for the Linder College of Business smack-dab in the middle of campus and you have classes from the engineer building, all the way to DAAP and Braunstein and you live in Morgens or Scioto, that walk is a real pain in the butt. You have to walk around all of the construction, up those seven flights of stairs and possibly more stairs depending where your class is. I’m telling you, even the star-athletes are out of breath walking up those things.
If you take the previously mentioned route to Rieveschl or Zimmer, once you catch your breath from the seven flights of library stairs, you will also have to go up an additional metal staircase. These stairs aren’t as long, but they’re worse in the fact that they will hypnotize you if you look down at them while you’re walking up. The pattern on the stairs is so hard to look at but you have to look at it to see where to place your foot, but you also can’t look at it without getting dizzy or a migraine. My advice: stare straight ahead, hang onto the railing and go slow.
I’m sure plenty of college students complain about their school’s cafeterias, but no one does “sucky cafeterias” like University of Cincinnati. I’m just going to focus on Center Court because it’s the grossest to me. Let’s talk about food quality. You know how in food commercials, they use shoe polish, hairspray, clue and other inedible things to make the food look good on camera? Well, after they’ve wrapped filming those commercials, I’m almost 100% positive that they send the food they used to University of Cincinnati to serve to us. Next is the food service, as in the employees. Let’s just say, it’s hard to have a conversation with your roomies when there’s two cooks arguing with each other over a girl, or loudly gossiping about how Tanya hasn’t been pulling her weight. Lastly, the wonderful aroma of dirty dishes. I could’ve gone my whole life without knowing what it was like to breather in the potent stench of dirty dishes on the conveyer belt. It’s practically impossible to walk by it without gagging, and if you try to breathe through your mouth, you’ll taste the smell. You know what I mean.
It’s been a long week but its finally Friday night and you are ready to let loose and get your party on! Your roommate heard from Chad from her human sex class that Epsilon Apple Towel is having a party tonight. It’s finally 10:30 pm, and you and your roomie leave Daniels Hall and start walking to the party. You get to the about the Rec Center when you realize you still have another 5 minutes of walking until you reach Clifton Ave. Then, you finally get to Clifton, cross the street to Fraternity Row and you don’t see EAT anywhere. Your roomie puts the address into her GPS and you realize EAT isn’t on Clifton, it’s further back in the neighborhood. By the time you find it, it’s 11 pm, 40 degrees out and you’re wearing your shortest shorts and lowest v-neck.
I don’t know about you, but I love getting mail. I love opening letters (even if they’re just from my bank telling me how broke I am), and care packages. However, there seems to be this odd phenomenon on campus when it comes to mail. You get an email saying a package has arrived for you and to retrieve it from the front desk. So, you go down to the front desk only to be told they don’t have the package you’re talking about because it accidentally ended up at a different dorm. Oh, and even better, you are expected to go get it yourself like it’s your fault. Also, maybe it’s just me, but I receive the same person’s mail in my mailbox every week, and every week I tell the front desk that he doesn’t live in my room, yet again every week they’re still shoving Ron’s mail in my mailbox. Ron, whoever you are, your bank has been trying to contact you via mail for three months.
Court-side Express is the hidden gem of food at University of Cincinnati. It is located in the lobby of the Rec Center. It’s a nice little corner that has fresh, pre-made and packaged sandwiches, salads, fruit, and bottled drinks. It’s a nice substitute for Center Court. However, if you’re planning on staying in the Rec to eat your food, think again. Not only is it incredibly loud, but every five seconds you will think the ceiling is about to collapse because apparently the weight-lifters on the floor above you don’t read the signs that say, “DON’T SLAM OR THROW WEIGHTS ON THE GROUND”.
Because this school insists on being so extra all the time, our Fifth Third arena has been under construction for a while now. Sure, the new arena will be pretty nice, but what isn’t so nice is that the home games this season won’t be on campus. Heck, they won’t even be in the state. All men’s basketball games are to take place at Northern Kentucky University’s arena. Students that want to attend have to take a shuttle or find their own transportation. As college students, we can barely get ourselves to class, let alone across the Ohio River for a basketball game. And for those of you that do go, I applaud you.
As previously mentioned, the cafeteria food is pure sludge. But it gets worse. Why? I’ll let you fill in the blank: because this school is SO ____. There are literally two meal plan options right now for freshmen. Option A: Unlimited for $2,247 per semester or Option B: 12 Meal Swipes per semester for $2,229 per semester. Yes, you read that right. There is literally an $18 difference between having an unlimited plan and a 12 meal swipe plan. So, you’re practically forced to pay for the Unlimited swipes for food that isn’t even edible. Who thought that would be a good idea? I mean really.
NightRide is an Uber-like service for University of Cincinnati students only. It is a free service that a student can call from 8pm to 5am to be picked up and driven to any local location. This service sounds pretty great and except for a few flaws it is. The major flaw is that you truly never know when your NightRide will show up. There is a wait time on the app, but it almost always says 20-40 minute wait. There are three different ways it can go. One, you call a half hour before you need to leave and the van gets picks you up on time. Two, you call a half hour early and the NightRide shows up in five minutes and you aren’t ready so you have to cancel, not knowing how long the wait is for the next one. Or three, the wait says 30 minutes and it doesn’t show up for an hour or two. It’s a good idea, just not always reliable.
In any major city, there will always be sirens going off throughout the night. However, because University of Cincinnati has its own hospital that is quite literally across the street from campus, the sirens are just a tad more noticeable. (and when I say a tad, I mean a lot) There is a constant stampede of ambulances tearing down MLK Drive. In addition, I’m pretty sure that the Cincinnati emergency vehicle sirens are different than other cities. It’s not your typical “wee-woo”. It’s more like a long, deep “weee-horror movie music-wooo”.
Despite all of the things mentioned, University of Cincinnati is an awesome school. If you attend University of Cincinnati like I do, you know the things listed above are really like little inside jokes that only University of Cincinnati students get. It’s all in good fun. We’re always growing, whether it be another building, more students, or better programs. Seriously, I couldn’t imagine going anywhere else. Go Bearcats!
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