I’m not one to lean into stereotypes or encourage them, and I will be outraged if you suggest I’m fulfilling one, but to be fair, some stereotypes are just a little too on the nose to be completely false. When it comes to being Jewish, I’ve been hit with many stereotypes throughout the years and the same when it comes to being a woman. Somehow the cross-section of the two has been a hot topic of discussion in popular culture recently, as well as what it means to date a Jewish girl- especially if you aren’t Jewish.
Apparently there’s a lot to consider, so I sat down and made a list of all the things I feel you should be prepared for if you endeavor to have a relationship with one of us. It is based solely on my own experience in relationships, what partners have told me about my qualities and their relation to Jewish culture and all of John Mulaney’s stand up specials.
We love to talk and ask questions. Questions during movies, long car rides and sex. We’ll talk through meals (and we’ll still finish before you) and all night (especially if you give us coffee, beware).
He’ll always be the nice Jewish boy that got away, don’t fight it.
We’re sorry.
Our matzah ball soup or our mother’s is always better, don’t question it.
But, don’t worry, they will quickly move on and start educating you on all things Judaism.
Assume we are. Definitely important to know before you date a Jewish girl.
We just don’t know where it is anymore.
It isn’t our fault our moms taught us to hate Christmas because it has more representation in the media than Hanukkah. This is important to know when you date a Jewish girl.
So either don’t make us wait or make sure we’re distracted while waiting. Here’s an idea: talk to us, we love that.
If we’re mad at you you’ll know.
So all you have to do is pay attention, ok?
And somehow you will end up being lifted on a chair by multiple drunk people at least once.
Singing at random times is expected.
Bake you cookies, run our long nails through your hair, give you a massage or teach you how to braid challah. All you have to do is ask.
We’ll only tell you once.
So if you’re lucky enough to get a second date with one of us, don’t blow it.
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