15 Things No One Tells You About Breakups
Here’s the deal: The school year is soon approaching and without even thinking about it, you have now found yourself trapped in the mysterious realm of boys and breakups. Basically, the last thing you would want to be focusing on with the new year rolling in. Frankly, more people than you would expect, have to experience this sucky stage of “adulting.” Situations like these can relate to the list as follows: bridges being burned, pain and emotions thought or described to be as love, boys pretending to be more than they are, or people just genuinely falling short of your expectations. There are so many things no one tells you about breakups. Keep reading for some pointers I’d love to give you, as I, myself, learned to move on and transition into a new chapter of life when the blues took me over.
1. It is totally normal to not feel “normal.”
Breakups do take a toll on you as an individual and to realize that first, is key. But this period in your life is definitely not permanent. Everything takes time, including this and you will need to give yourself some time to heal. You are granted full permission to “feel” any and all of your feelings! Do whatever you can to help make you feel better, whether it be having a girl’s night out, a day of binge watching ‘How I Met Your Mother’, or just stuffing your face with your favorite flavor of ice cream! One thing you are going to realize for sure is that cases like these not only holds negatives but also hold positives for you. The sad side of things: this will hurt, yes, no doubt. But fortunately, the bright side of things forecasts that these feelings definitely will NOT be permanent. So, sit back and feel. You owe yourself that much.
2. You will be able to tell who your true friends are and life may, at times, seem like a ‘FRIENDS’ episode.
Whether it be your best friend visiting the sobbing version of you in bed or that one wild friend of yours trying to drag you out to tonight’s party, your friend’s true colors will show. Rachel’s back and forth emotions will start to resemble yours. But fortunately, Rachel had Phoebe and Monica by her side; just as you have all of your pals to cheer you up! Cherish your friends! They love you and only want the best for you.
3. Don’t become blind to your values. Remember what’s important.
You are important. Make yourself a priority, please. You are deserving. No, you are not being needy; you are simply in search of every single thing you deserve. Choose yourself. Your emotions and feelings are just as important as anyone else.
4. This probably will not be your only heartbreak…and that is totally okay!
Be glad it’s over. Yes, you are unhappy and maybe you even feel a bit neglected. Maybe it was the fact that this fella took you for granted. But what were you holding on to? Yes, you lost them but at the same time, you gained peace. Peace granted to help you find yourself and discover new parts of you that you didn’t realize were there before.
5. Block out their bullshit!
Refreshing their social media will only hurt you in the end. Their likes, retweets, and favorites were probably impulse decisions anyway.
6. “Mother knows best.”
When wasn’t mom’s advice extremely accurate? And truly think about that answer. More times than not, mother knows best. In rough patches like these, know you can talk to your momma like your best friend. She probably has been where you are right now, and chances are her heart was once broken as well. As she advises you with wise words, have open ears. Her statements may really come in handy in the future.
7. You will spend days grieving and that’s okay.
You’re wondering why it had to be you but know that these painful feelings will fade. These neglecting feelings are totally normal. It is okay to be grieving.
8. But on the other hand, this is also your pass to kind of be an asshole; just don’t go too overboard with it.
I mean, why not?
9. You will fantasize what life could have been. Just know that better days will come.
Ever wonder where you will be in 5 years? 10 years? Maybe you hope to be traveling the world, or maybe it’s the thought of living in a comfy cozy home with your family of 4 that really warms your heart. Well whatever it is, those days will come. Eventually, you will make room for new adventures and meet all kinds of new people. Maybe you are tired and worn out now, but just take a deep breath. Your better days will be here before you know it. Everything takes time.
10. Please grant yourself mental health days.
You owe yourself some you-time. Dedicate, one, two, three, or even four days to yourself to truly appreciate every aspect of yourself. Treat yourself. Focus on you. Place your energy in to what you feel matters.
11. Breakup with their memories.
Time for some spring cleaning, ladies! Get rid of your ex’s, lack of a better word, junk. Ridding of their belongings will not hurt you. Actually, the aftermath is proven to be very beneficial. Here, I’ll go grab the trash bags for you. We’ll clean together.
12. Put your broken heart to good use!
Are you a musician? An artist? An athlete? Well, go on! Believe it or not, dig deep and you will find a whole lot of dedication that is just waiting to shine through for you to explore. You were born to share your talents with the world. Turning to your passions in times like these can help you cope and I’d like to believe that something quite incredible can come out of these sore blue days.
13. Give yourself some love.
“It’s time to take the love he could never appreciate and give it to yourself” (r.h. Sin).
14. You deserve someone who gives a shit about you!
“If you’re brave enough to let it die, you’ll find new life in something beautiful with someone [who is] willing to treat you better. And the patience you’ve invested into the wrong people is just enough to preserve your heart for the one who deserves it” (r.h. Sin).
15. Now: Chin up. Go out. Be yourself. Go be the bad ass you were born to be.
If you take one thing away from this article, take this: You deserve so much more than you think you do. “One day someone will look at you with magic in their eyes because that’s what you are” (r.h.Sin).
