One of the biggest signs of a narcissist is that they’re chameleons. They change based on the situation. Based on that, you might not know that you’re dating one! They’ll probably show you the best side of them in order to hide their true colors. If no one has already confronted you about it, here are 10 things narcissistic men do that are signs that the guy you’re with is a big fat narcissist.
The thing about narcissists is that that they truly believe they can do no wrong. So, if you tell them that the chicken they cooked for dinner is overcooked, they’ll take that as a personal attack. Even simple, well-meaning critiques will send him into a tailspin.
Similar to criticism, nothing is a narcissists fault. When he rear-ended someone last month it wasn’t because he was fiddling with the radio, it was because the car in front of him was brake-testing him. You’ll probably notice this pretty quickly in the relationship when you’re the one always at fault and always having to apologize (even if you did nothing wrong).
One of the creepiest things narcissistic men do is transform into a completely different person depending on the situation. At the office party he takes you to, he becomes some hot shot know-it-all and then at dinner with your friends he turns into a bonafide comedian. In every atmosphere, he does everything in his power to be the center of attention, even if that means becoming someone else.
I mean, this one is a given. If you’re dating a narcissist, he will be no stranger to boosting up his accomplishments. You will never hear the end of the promotion he got at work, even if it was a year ago. Whether it’s a big or small success, he’ll make it seem like he’s won the lottery.
At the same time he’s pumping himself up, he’s putting you down. This becomes especially apparent when you go in public because that’s where he thrives. He wants to be the center of attention even if that means that he casts you to the outskirts of the universe.
The biggest accomplishment of a narcissist is when he has total control of people. In order to do that he’ll switch between criticizing you constantly to the point where you feel like absolute crap about yourself. Then, like a light switch, he’ll start complimenting you left and right in order to put you back on his pedestal. This back and forth will make you completely in his control, just the way he likes it.
Watch out for him criticizing his peers a lot. It probably just means he’s jealous of something that they have and he doesn’t. In his eyes, the only way to level the playing field is to drag them down to him.
If you’re spending time with anyone other than him it’s a problem. Whether it’s your girlfriends, your coworkers or even your family. If he’s not there, you have ulterior motives. It’s probably not uncommon for him to accuse you of cheating because at the heart of all his narcissism is someone who is deeply self-conscious.
He might not even realize he’s lying. One of the telltale things narcissistic men do is that they’re always right (in their opinion), so they tend to just spew bullshit. Each time he tells a story to someone new, it becomes a little more over-the-top with extraordinary details. This will become especially apparent when he’s telling an elaborate story that you witnessed to be false.
Triangulation is a common practice of narcissists. Basically, it’s when they bring in another person – usually someone who is threatening to you, like an ex – specifically to make you jealous. They’ll start to say things like “so-and-so used to do this,” and “I wish you’d be more like so-and-so.” The reason they do this is to make themselves feel more desired. Because if you’re jealous, then that means you really need them.
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