Long distance relationships aren’t easy. That’s why nobody is eager to be apart of them, they’re quite off-putting. However, there are tons of long distance relationships thriving, I have first-hand experience. There are many things you learn from such an experience like this. There are few experiences that compare to a long distance relationship. They’re something special. They’re also hard, but special nonetheless. I’ve seriously learned some great things through my long distance relationship that I would love to share.
I am starting off a little bold, but it’s true. Seriously, anyone can do it. You may think you can’t do it, but there is a part of you that can. There are a lot of people you may think are not worth being in a long distance relationship with, that’s the real reason you don’t think you yourself can do it. You just aren’t with the type of person or situation you could manage it with. If the situation arises, you can truly do it without sacrificing too much if you love that person. I wasn’t sure I could do it, I’m also sure my boyfriend was unsure as well. We decided to wing it without having any prior experiences or what to expect and we are still going strong, as well as growing strong.
By this I don’t mean if you’re single you should only be cuddling with one person. What I mean is if you are in a long distance relationship, you don’t need constant affection. You can’t really get it from your significant other every day. That doesn’t mean you need to go seeking affection from others so you get your fix. I personally love affection. However, I only like affection from my boyfriend. Since I love the affection I get so much from him, I don’t feel the slightest need to get it from someone else when I’m unable to get it from him. I learned through my long distance relationship that receiving affection from that one special person is worth not having it for months on end.
The first time I flew on a plane was to see my boyfriend. We knew plane rides were going to be a regular thing in this relationship. Unfortunately, plane tickets aren’t super cheap and if you think they aren’t, just wait til you have to reserve your seat and baggage. We both of course fly the cheap airlines, but we are both in college and these tickets really add up. I am very happy that this isn’t the early 20th century and that we do in fact have planes to use to see each other, but gosh do I wish they were a little cheaper. All the money in the world is worth seeing my boyfriend though, so I wouldn’t trade spending hundreds of dollars on plane tickets for anything.
I use FaceTime quite frequently. It is key to a long distance relationship. Without it, I would possibly cry more than I already do because I wouldn’t be able to interact with my man in that kind of way. Since I am on FaceTime so much with my boyfriend, I learned that it does some real damage on your phone battery. I don’t know if my phone has just seen its day because of all the new iPhones out right now, but I swear I’ll start the call at 87% and about 16 seconds will pass by and I’ll already be on like 21%. It is quite annoying because I need to charge my phone so much, but nonetheless I am very thankful to have access to FaceTime.
When you’re in a long distance relationship you really learn how to appreciate every single second you have with your significant other. I seriously mean every single second. You can’t lose precious time, you only have so much together! To put this in perspective. I recently saw my boyfriend because I was back in my hometown for a wedding. The next day after the wedding I was going to drive with my parents to the airport, but instead my boyfriend drove me just so that we had a little more time together. Even though it was just a little bit, I appreciated it so much. It made the trip even better.
A lot of texting obviously goes on during a long distance relationship. It’s probably the main form of communication in most circumstances. With that being said, you really get to know how your significant other talks over text. With so much observing going on, it’s extremely easy to detect when something seems off. If you have the guts to ask what’s wrong, do it because something is usually wrong. Remember, communication is key, especially in a long distance relationship!
Appreciating the small things is important in any relationship. However, you learn quite quickly to appreciate the small things in a long distance relationship. My boyfriend and I enjoy sending letters and cards back and forth to each other. We both keep all of them. Just those few words written in letters and cards mean so much. My boyfriend even kept the packaging from a friendship bracelet I sent him and I still have movie tickets from when we first started dating. I never appreciated those kinds of things before, but I do now more than ever.
Fighting in a relationship is pretty normal. By that I mean every once and awhile about something, not constant bickering about anything and everything. If that’s you and your significant other then please stop dating, you are so toxic to each other. Anyways, not a lot of fighting goes on in long distance relationships. If there is any, it almost always links back to seeing each other. That’s pretty much the only thing to fight about and by human nature you do fight about it. It’s almost kind of cute though, you’re fighting over the fact that you love each other so much that you need to see other.
A LOT of planning ahead goes into long distance relationships. If you want to make sure your long distance relationship is successful, you need to plan ahead. Whether you’re planning a month ahead or a year ahead, it’s seriously important. It’s also a great thing to talk about. Talking about all the dates you’re going to go on and all the things you’re going to do is a great way to keep each other happy.
As stated previously, always planning ahead is really important in a long distance relationship. It becomes very obvious how important it is when the time starts zooming by. As soon as you make those plans official and the countdown begins, it’s really like time is flying by. It’s almost like magic! Months quickly turn to weeks and weeks quickly turn to days. Then, those days turn into minutes and you remember why all this distance is worth it.
This loops back to the affection part, but seriously love doesn’t need to be physical and present at all times. Love is a feeling, not a trait. This is the number one thing you’ll learn in a successful long distance relationship. It’s probably the first thing you’ll realize, also the most important. Love isn’t about all the hugs and kisses you get every day, it’s about an actual connection. Not to get sappy or anything, but you’ll know when you’re in love with someone and what that connection feeling is like. You’ll know it’s not a physical thing.
Since I can’t always see my boyfriend, I of course of tons and tons of photos of him. A notification pops up on my phone way too often telling me my phone storage is getting too full. Any time I go to delete photos I can’t because they are all of my boyfriend! I end up deleting pictures of nice scenery pictures I’ve taken because my boyfriend is obviously way more important. This cycle of deleting pictures will never end, I’m sure of it.
I didn’t really think my parents would enjoy this type of relationship for me because I would be sad a lot. Also because we would have to stay at each other’s houses very often. I am an adult, but I also have parents who care for me so they don’t just let me do whatever I want. I never really thought I’d be allowed to stay at my boyfriend’s house and vice versa, but just a few months into our relationship my boyfriend was allowed to visit and stay with me for two weeks. A couple of my friends were like, “Woah, my parents would never let my boyfriend and I stay alone together that long.” I didn’t think my parents would either, but they did. I truly think it’s because they understand what kind of situation is going on and they want the best for me. So, don’t act like your parents don’t understand, because they probably do.
If you’re in college and in long distance relationship, the comments about how it’s not going to last are extremely annoying. I won’t lie, they are sometimes right because not all relationships like that last, especially while in college. However, if your relationship is doing just fine, there is no need to get discouraged by them. Just because they might not be able to do it, doesn’t mean you can’t. Just because they have to have constant physical affection and don’t have the will power for a long distance relationship, doesn’t mean you don’t. If they haven’t been in that situation, they have no credibility to give advice on it. even if they have been they don’t! It’s your relationship.
This is something I need to constantly tell myself. It’s also something I’ve learned through the constant planning my boyfriend and I do. Everyone in a long distance relationship will learn that the distance will eventually close. It has to! You wouldn’t be going through all of this if it wasn’t. If it takes 2 years or 10, it’s still going to happen, which makes everything worth it.
This is just a handful of the things I’ve learned in my long distance relationship. I have plenty of time to learn plenty of more things. Although it’s hard, I can’t wait to see what else I learn.
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