When most people are asked about their days as a high school student, they either say “OMG, It was the best four years ever!” or something like, “I hated high school, the people, my school and I hated my teachers. There were only a handful of people I actually liked.” As for me, when I hear conversations about others and their high school experience, I feel a sense of envy. I am envious of how they got to have the conventional high school experience. As for me, I was missing a year of high school – my sophomore year my whole life was turned upside down.
Looking back as a college freshman, I believe missing my sophomore year was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was admitted into a psychiatric hospital for nine months where I was later diagnosed with three different anxiety disorders: generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder.
Here are ten things that I learned from missing a year of high school.
While in the hospital, I was told that there was a possibility that I would not be returning to regular high school and that there was a possibility that I would be going to a therapeutic high school. The moment I heard the word “therapeutic high school” was when I decided to work even harder in treatment and to show the staff in my treatment center that I was indeed capable of regular high school. A few months later, I returned to my mainstream high school and I finally felt a sense of belonging again after missing a year of high school.
There were countless times where the staff in the psychiatric hospital and in my high school would tell me that I should just wait until my junior year to return. They kept on telling me that there was no point to return so late in the year and that there would be no way for me to catch up. However, I decided to go with my gut feeling and I returned to regular school with just a month remaining. I walked into my classes with confidence and academically, I did very well in my classes. The staff at my school was shocked how well I did in my classes and proving people wrong is one of the best feelings ever.
I remember thinking that there was something seriously wrong with me and that no one else felt the same way that I did. I later volunteered in a library where I met a girl who also struggles with anxiety. Anxiety disorders are becoming more and more prevalent in society and always tell your story. You are never alone, not even if you are missing a year of high school.
When I was a freshman, I had this set plan in mind: I would do cross country and track all four years, I would take all honors classes and I would go to college in Boston. Little did I know that I would be missing a year of high school and all my dreams would vanish into thin air. Although missing a year of high school was difficult, I believe that it made me into the person that I am today. By hitting a roadblock in life, you allow yourself to grow and mature as a person. I hated missing a year of school but at the same time, I am so grateful as it allowed myself to flourish as an individual.
Being in the psychiatric hospital for nine months allowed me to discover my true passions: mental health advocacy. In college, I am now studying psychology and my dream is to be a research psychologist who studies anxiety disorders. I want to learn more about the brain and why mental illnesses occur. I believe that if I were never in the psychiatric hospital, I would never consider pursuing psychology research.
When I was a freshman in high school, I believed I had to act a certain way to fit in. While in the psychiatric hospital, I was exposed to people from all over and I even met a girl who was from Kuwait! Some people believe that people with mental illness are crazy but we really aren’t. By being in the psychiatric hospital, I was able to expand my horizons and meet a diverse group of people. Missing a year of high school doesn’t mean you can’t make new friends.
Being a high school student who landed themselves in a psychiatric hospital is something that is difficult to share with others. However, the support you receive from friends makes it easier. Even if you have a small group of friends, treasure them. Remind them how important they are to you.
I used to be terrified of communicating my feelings with others. Being at the psychiatric hospital, I learned reaching out for help does not make you weak. In fact, it makes you stronger. If I never got help, I believe I would have ended up in a very dark place. I’d feel more alone. Regardless of what society tells you, open up and talk to others about your feelings!
If you truly believe that you can do something, go after it. Drain out the voices of the people who tell you, you should wait. Although I returned to school in the last two months, I was still somewhat able to be a sophomore. If I had waited until my junior year to transition back into school, I would have probably been lost. Always trust your gut, even if you have people telling you otherwise.
One part of anxiety I still struggle with is accepting uncertainty. Life is not a straight line. In life, you have good moments and then you also face moments in which you will struggle. But I believe that through every tough moment emerges a stronger person. Always embrace the unknown and realize that certainty is not something that is guaranteed in life.
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