10 Things Every Salisbury University Student Asks Themselves

There are so many things every Salisbury University student asks themselves on a daily basis. From life choices, to academics, whether it’s your freshman year or your senior year, you’ll be sure to ask yourself these questions at one point, if you haven’t already.

1. How the fuck did this professor get good ratings on Rate My Professor?

Ever just sit back in your seat in class in utter disbelief at how this professor got a 3. fucking 6 on RMP? Same.

2. When will Lakewood be resurrected?

Good ole Lakewood. The classic weekend move for freshmen adventures, losing your morals, and questionable guys trying to hook up. Live. Love. Lakewood.

3. To Brew or not to Brew?

Here’s a better way to put this question: To lose my dignity tonight or to not lose my dignity tonight?

4. Why is it called the Dirty Bury?

Three letters my friend. S.T.D. #WrapItBeforeYouTapIt

5. Why the fuck do professors have so much parking?

You ask yourself as you aggressively turn through Commons/AC lot eventually saying fuck it and pull into a red parking spot.

6. How can I sneak a pet into UP?

*Googles how to fake/get emotional support animal certificate*

7. Why did I hook up with such a questionable human being?

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It’s inevitable, you’re gonna see that one night stand that makes you sink into your seat and mentally punch yourself in the face over and over again saying “Why bitch, why?” Think you’ll be spared? Yeah right bitch, that’s what I said too.

8. WHERE IS SAFERIDE????

WHERE THE FUCK IS SAFERIDE IT’S BEEN 20 MINUTES!” you scream in the middle of new zoo in your tight ass dress, with your cold ass legs, holding your basic ass white girl drink. Then after waiting forever, you get driven past multiple times.

9. Why the fuck did we build a $110 million library with 8 rows of parking?

Enough said.

10.How are we so much better than Frostburg?

Sorry Frostburg, you just don’t compare to the Dirty Bury.