As every Minnesotan knows, Minnesota is the best state, and everything we say or do is superior to everyone else. So when the time comes to pack up and head off to college in another state, there will obviously be instances where you and your new friends don’t quite see eye-to-eye. Here are 15 things every Minnesotan will experience at college.
First things first, the stereotypical Minnesota “nice” personality will probably lead you to be extremely passive aggressive with your new roommate or classmates. This passive aggressive nature will also probably lead you to become frustrated in awkward situations, like when your new roommate decides to borrow something without asking, and well, you just don’t have the guts to say anything about it.
You will also probably come to terms with your Minnesotan roots when you have to participate in ice breakers during orientation week. Instead of playing ‘Duck Duck Grey Duck,’ you’ll play ‘Duck Duck Goose’ and have to try to convince everyone else that they are playing the game wrong.
As you venture into the world of dining halls and cafeterias, you’re bound to run into some kind of warm mixture that you refer to as “hot dish”. You’ll probably argue with your friends who claim that mixture as a casserole. Little do they know, they are once again, wrong!
This discrepancy between you and everyone else at college, will no doubt be brought up within the first day that you arrive. When you initially say something and draw out the vowels long enough to drive to Canada and back, someone will be there to point it out. “You have a really thick MinnesOOOtan accent, don’t ya know?” Naturally, you’ll probably respond with “You betcha!” or “Oh for sure!” Force of habit, but what can you do?
You may have chosen your University based on the quality of it’s hockey program. Obviously you have high standards for the hockey team, as well as their hair. Coming from ‘Minneflowta,’ not just any head of hair will reach your expectations. You will also be the person in the front of the line to buy tickets, and probably dragging your roommate with you against his or her will.
When someone asks you how you spent your summer, you most likely replied with something associated with one of the 10,000 lakes. Whether you made sure your summer job was located close to a lake, so when you got off work, your friends could swoop by and pick you up on the boat; or if you live on the lake, you made an impressive effort to enjoy it as much as possible all summer. No one will understand what you mean when you say you spent most of your time at Big Island or Fletchers. $5 burgers on Tuesdays, you know exactly where you were.
You can’t deny that you become closer with your friends who have cabins during the summer. You definitely used that relationship just to go “Up North” on the weekends. Whether you were causing trouble at Grandview, trying every flavor of ice cream at The Chocolate Ox, or hanging out with the “locals,” you know weekends were better at the cabin.
On your early morning walks to class, Starbucks just won’t fill the void that Caribou has left in your life. We all know that Caribou is better, whether it’s the actual coffee, the size of the menu, or the whole atmosphere. You will have to try to explain this feeling to all of your friends, and they will not understand, until they go to Caribou for the first time.
Since the legal gambling age is 18 in Minnesota, there is a good chance that when you turned 18, you spent a fair amount of time at the casino. Playing slots or blackjack, or going just to people-watch and drink free pop, no one will understand the convenience of always having somewhere to go and something to do.
It’s pop, not soda. Enough said.
It’s an inborn thing to have a certain hatred for Edina, or better known as the “cake-eaters.” No one knows exactly why we hate them, probably because they are a bunch of snobby rich kids, although every private school, as well as Wayzata or Minnetonka, could be hated for the same reason.
Even though a lot of Minnesotan students choose to go to school in Wisconsin, a Minnesotan native is always “better dead than red.”
Obviously they will relate to you and better, and better yet, if you have a mutual friend, you know they will be relatively normal. You can also talk about how great Minnesota is together and travel on holidays together!
The classic Minnesota goodbye. You probably can’t remember a holiday when you actually left within a half hour of putting your coat on. So, at the end of the year, when it comes time to return to the best state for three months, you should probably allow for a good amount of time to say goodbye to everyone. Better yet, start saying goodbye at the beginning of April, so you aren’t there until June.
I hate to break this to you, but for all four years you spend out of state, you will have to convince people why Minnesota is the best.
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