Online dating can be difficult even if you’re an outgoing person, but being shy doesn’t mean you can’t use them. Follow this guide to get the most out of online dating, even if you’re an introvert.
Every online dating app is different. Some want you to swipe, some want you to message first, some let you match anonymously, some make the matches for you. Before you can really start searching for love you have to first pick which structure you are most comfortable with. Feel free to try out a couple of different apps to find the best for you. Here are some of the most popular dating apps, and how they can help you overcome some of your shyness.
Bumble – Women have the power, you have to message first or else the match disappears after 24 hours. This gives you the opportunity to change your mind about a match with no consequences, but it does mean you have to make the first move. No worries about making the first move though, Bumble suggests a bunch of conversation starters you can simply click and send if you’re worried about what to say.
Coffee Meets Bagel – Every day the app sends you a recommended match. This helps you to focus on an individual profile instead of swiping through hundreds and becoming overwhelmed.
Siren – Everyday users answer a question, which offers an easy conversation starter. This app also allows women to control who sees their profile and who can chat with them, leaving all the power in your hands.
Hinge – This app makes users answer three questions or prompts on their profile. This helps to get a better idea of their personality before you match and it offers a built-in topic to start chatting with.
When you are shy the idea of maintaining a conversation with a stranger can be daunting, even if the conversation is online. Instead of struggling to think up topics when you’re nervous and flustered have some ideas in prepared to help you out. Try and steer the conversation to a topic you have a genuine interest in. It’s easy to relax and have a meaningful interaction when you are discussing something you feel passionate about. Talk about anything from your pets and favorite books to your last vacation. As long as you care about the topic you can ignore the shyness and focus on what you’re actually saying.
Although the main focus of online dating can seem to be the ‘online’ portion, you will need to eventually meet your matches in the real world. This can be scary at the best of times so to make the most of it meet in a place you feel comfortable in. Going on a date can already be outside of your comfort zone so don’t push it. Meet in a place you know well and makes you feel safe. This can be your favorite restaurant or coffee shop, or even just an area of town you know well. A bonus is you can use your insider knowledge to impress your date and break the ice.
It might seem like you aren’t making meaningful connections or you never will but try to remember everyone feels like that from time to time. Online dating is not as simple as one swipe to find your soulmate, you’re going to have to work at it to find the one. Feel free to take breaks from online dating from time to time, but have patience. Even if you don’t find your special someone all of those interactions help you to get over your shyness. If at first you don’t succeed, at least you got some practice out of it.
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