Guys can be tough to decipher, but we all want to believe they have the best intentions! But it’s time to face the facts. If he never called you back, there’s probably a reason why, and that reason why is more than likely the most obvious explanation.
Okay, we’re not here to tell you that EVERY guy on the planet is bad and that they all lie and cheat and ghost you. Sometimes they really are just busy! If it’s only been one or two days that he hasn’t called you, try not to panic. People have jobs to do, and lives to live. Picking up the phone to tell you he had a great time may be on his to-do list, but there might just be some other important things to get done first. If it’s been over a week though and he STILL hasn’t called you back, don’t waste your time. There’s the “I’m busy but I like you so much that I’ll make time for you” type of guy, and then there’s the “I’m busy and you’re just not important enough to make time for” guy. If he falls into the second category, don’t waste your time!
Guys don’t think the same way we do. Making sure you’re aware he had a good time on your date (even after her told you about 7 times on the actual date how much fun he’s having, but you needed to hear it just one more time to be absolutely SURE) might not be at the front of his brain right about now. He thinks you already know he had an amazing time on your date, so calling you to tell you that might have slipped his mind. If there is any major sporting event on TV, FORGET about getting a call back immediately. Guy brains are hardwired to focus on one task at a time, otherwise they’ll short-circuit. Don’t believe us? Ever watch a guy try to multi-task? Not a pretty sight! So if you know deep down in your gut that he had as good a time as you did, don’t stress if he hasn’t called you back as quickly as you would have liked. Eventually his teeny little guy brain will remember that he owes you a call!
As much as this sounds like a deal-breaker, it might not be as bad as it appears. If you haven’t had the “how serious are we”conversation yet, there’s a chance he thinks what you’re doing is just casual for the moment. Guys don’t always think “serious” right away, so he might not be incredibly concerned with making sure he calls you back right away. If you’ve just started out, he could just be exploring his options! We’ve ALL done this at some point, so don’t freak out! Next time he calls you back tell him how you feel! Say you want to be the only girl he talks to, and spell it out for him. Guys hate playing games as much as girls do, so the least amount of effort they have to put into something, the better!
Okay, so there’s really no way to sugar-coat this one. Just because you had a really great time doesn’t necessarily mean he did, too. This may be a bit of a tough pill to swallow, but if it’s been more than a few days and he still hasn’t called you back, it could be because he just doesn’t know how to tell you he didn’t enjoy himself. Are we condoning this behavior in any way? Absolutely not. Does it make him a coward that he couldn’t tell you why there won’t be a second date? Sure! Does it mean you did anything wrong? Absolutely not. More times than none, if he didn’t have a good time chances are the date left you wanting in some areas as well. Sometimes the prospect of a new guy is just so exciting that we can tend to excuse some pretty big red flags. If he hasn’t called you back because he had a sucky time, thank him next time you see him. He helped you dodge a pretty big bullet and allowed you to find someone who can’t wait to take you out on a second date!
Sometimes if a guy hasn’t called you back its because he’s incredibly nervous. You probably completely knocked his socks off after the first date and left him thinking that you are completely out of his league (yes, guys think like this too, ladies). The thought of calling you back makes his palms start to sweat. What if he says something stupid? Or what if you realize you can do way better than him?! This guy will absolutely work up the nerve to call you back. And when he does, be gentle with this one! He’s trying his best!
There’s no way around this one- guys are 100% ride or die for the bro code. They will basically do or say anything their friends will tell them to. So, depending on the type of company your date keeps, his friends could be convincing him that calling you back is a big no-no. They could be telling him that he doesn’t want to be tied down right now, or that hey, if you want to hear from him so bad, you’ll call again. As unfair as this is to you (considering you’ve probably never even met his friends), this is just one of those things that may not be unavoidable. You just have to hope that the date went really well and that your potential s/o can see past the stupid opinions his friends are offering up.
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